Blinded By Love
by Serena Kenobi
Summary: Padme awakens over twenty one years after the birth of her children. She finds that she has been encased in carbonite to keep her alive. But the process leaves an unexpected and devastating aftereffect. Padme/Ani/Vader AU. POST ESB.
1. Prologue

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena Kenobi**

**Author's note: I know, I know, I haven't updated my other stories in ages. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten or abandoned them. They'll be updated shortly. But I've had the idea for this story for ages, and I finally decided to post it. Hope you enjoy! Reviews are appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I've done this too many times. This is George's jungle. And Kudos to whoever invented that saying. It wasn't me. So I guess I don't own that either. Oh boy. **

* * *

**_Prologue_**

_Must get her stabilized… pulse… weakening… losing her… _

She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe.

She was burning.

_Heart rate… rising… fast…_

Her whole body was on fire. She was drowning in that fire. Her throat constricted – why couldn't she get air?

_Oxygen levels… unstable… coming out… hibernation…_

What was going on? Where was she? And why couldn't she do anything? She felt trapped. Smothered. The fire was smothering her… freezing her bones in an icy hot cage that she couldn't get out of.

_We… wake her… too long … hibernation…_

"Miss? Miss, can you hear me?"

She could. But she couldn't respond. She mentally screamed a reply, but it went unheard.

"Miss, don't worry. You must calm down so we can get your heart rate steady. Don't worry, everything's going to be all right. You just need to relax."

Relax… that would be hard, but if that was what she had to do, that was what she had to do. Breathe… in… out… in… out….steady…

"There you go… that's it. Good job." The voice that was directing her, a warm, _living _voice, felt close to her ear. "Keep it up. You're going to be fine."

She nodded slowly, painfully.

"It will take a few minutes for you to be able to move properly – you've been encased in carbonite for the past twenty-one years. You're actually lucky to have survived such a freezing process."

Carbonite? Freezing process? Why didn't she remember any of that? Okay, okay, calm down. She had to keep her breathing steady. What was the last thing that she remembered…

Fire. Death. Pain. Betrayal.

No! No!

She set her teeth. There had to be something else. Something else after that… wait… yes, yes, there it was! She had been on a medical bed… there were droids hovering around her. She had heard a baby's cry – no, two babies.

Her babies! Her Luke – her Leia! Where were they? Were they all right? Wait, Obi-Wan. Yoda. What had happened to them? And why had she been in carbonite for twenty-one years?

Twenty-one years.

Inwardly, her mind was reeling.

This was too much information. She couldn't handle it all, especially not after remembering…

Him. Her beloved. Her fallen angel. Her Anakin.

He had broken her heart, but she still loved him. She still needed him as the trees needed sunlight. As the earth needed rain.

She couldn't survive without him. She was tied to him – connected by some invisible bond that refused to snap, even after he had turned to the dark side. They were two halves of the same whole, two pieces that fit perfectly together in a puzzle, two people joined together as one.

"You can try moving now, Miss," the comforting voice said to her. "You should be able to move your body more easily now."

Forcing her unpleasant thoughts to the back of her mind, she focused on moving her body. First, she clenched and unclenched her fists. Then, she moved her toes, then feet, then her whole lower half. She slowly slid her arms up and down on the bed she was in.

"Good, that's good."

Finally, with a great effort, she lifted her eyelids up as she tried to open her eyes…

She blinked, twice. Unsteadily, she tried to focus on something, anything, but she couldn't. "What's… going… on?" Her voice was hoarse, so she swallowed and tried again. "What's going on?" Better.

A sigh was heard from above her. "It's typical for people who have just come out of carbonite to experience a thing called hibernation sickness. They're temporarily blind, but eventually, it returns."

"Oh, good. How long?"

There was a pause. "I'm afraid, in your case, you were in the carbonite for too long. I'm sorry to tell you this… but… your eyesight has been permanently damaged."

She froze. "You mean… I won't be able to see… ever?"

"I'm afraid so. They haven't discovered a treatment for your condition yet, as very few people are put into carbonite. I'm so sorry." The voice, however sympathetic it may have been, was little comfort to her.

The realization hit like a reek running full force into her body. She would never again be able to see Naboo. See the water. See anybody. She could never watch the sunsets or sunrises, never again see the amazing architecture on her home-planet. She would never see her family again – if they were still alive. She could never look at her children again, if they happened to meet.

She would never see Anakin again. If he was still alive.

"I can't see," Padmé said, deadpan. "I can't see."

* * *

**Short, I know. But it's only the prologue. **


	2. Blind

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena Kenobi**

**Author's Note: Wow, thanks so much for all the reviews!! Those of you who have read my other stories must know how much I enjoy reading them... :D **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chappie!**

**Disclaimer: Me not own Star Wars. You not sue me. **

* * *

_**  
Padme POV**_

I learned a few long, grueling hours after the news of my condition that I had been kept on Polis Massa. How they managed to fake my burial, I didn't know, but I wouldn't have survived long if I hadn't been put into hibernation. But why encase me in carbonite? And why wake me up now? Determined to find more answers, I asked the young physician there, a human by the name of Corlif Taronel. As kind as he tried to be, it could not replace the dark thoughts that filled my mind with despair and doubt of my future. But Taronel tried to answer as many questions as he could, though he told me he was fairly new to the facility.

"Do you know how old you are?" He asked me gently after telling me the date.

I furrowed my brow and tried to do math mentally. "I think I'm around forty-seven," I said uncertainly. "I'm not completely sure, though." I self-consciously touched my hair and my face. How much had I changed?

"Well, I must say, Miss, you look exceedingly well for a woman your age," Taronel said politely. "I would've thought you were in your early thirties. The freezing process helped to slow down your aging process somewhat."

Despite my darker thoughts, I couldn't help but feel just a little bit better at that news. It was nice to know I hadn't changed too much over the years.

* * *

I spent the next few days in bed, but after the first, I grew bored and asked the nurses for something to do. They gave me a holoproj, and although I couldn't see, I could hear the latest from Coruscant. Or rather, Imperial Center.

"We've just had an update from the outer rim," the reporter said, "It appears that Lord Darth Vader has just found the hidden Rebel base and has launched an assault on the remote system of Hoth. Rumored to be on the base are Rebels Princess Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker, the terrorist who ruthlessly destroyed millions of lives on the Death Star. More updates shortly."

I couldn't help it. As I listened, I began to sob. My breath hitched, and soon, I had burst into uncontrollable tears and buried my face in my hands. My babies! My children! They were being attacked by the Sith! Darth… what was his name? I couldn't remember.

The nurses ran into my room as soon as they heard me cry out, and try as they might, they couldn't console me in my grief. I had lost twenty-one years of my life. As I sobbed, I heard Dr. Taronel say, "Miss Padmé! Miss Padmé, are you all right? What's the matter?"

Trying to regain control of my thundering emotions, I asked in between tears, "Do you know of a Jedi named Anakin Skywalker?"

He didn't reply for a long time. "No, Milady, I can't say that I have. The Jedi have been extinct for over two decades. Why should you ask?"

"I need you to look him up for me," I ploughed on, "I need to find out what happened to him."

"Of course, Miss." He was puzzled, I knew that much, but I was determined to find out what had happened to my husband. Had he been destroyed by the Sith also? Had Palpatine, or Sidious, killed him and chosen another in his place?

Hatred bloomed in me like a red, fiery rose, and I clenched my teeth as the tears dripped down my face. My hands balled into fists and clutched the blankets tightly; I despised him. I despised Palpatine for what he had done. I know that anger was of the dark side, but I was no Jedi. I was allowed anger, rage, hate. Bitterness.

Palpatine needed to die. As did Vader. They would pay for murdering thousands of Jedi, hunting down my children as if they were dogs, ruling their precious Empire with an iron fist.

"Miss Padmé?" Taronel's voice caused me to turn towards the left so as to hear him better; and I wiped the teardrops off my face. "Oh, no, Milady, it's all right," he said consolingly, "I understand your pain and confusion. It's not often one is put into carbonite for over twenty years. You probably don't know what is going on, do you?"

I shook my head slowly. "No, I'm afraid I don't. I'd like any information you have. Actually, all of it." Still the Senator gathering as much information as I could on all the past and present events, I thought wryly.

"Of course, Milady. I'll have everything I can put into sound so that you can hear it."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"It's the least I can do. And Miss Padmé, I looked up Anakin Skywalker in the database."

I licked my dry lips in anticipation; he continued on: "And although there is little to say, the records say it is presumed that he was killed over twenty years ago by Darth Vader." My heart nearly stopped, my mouth fell open in horror.

Anakin was dead. My Anakin, dead.

No. No, no, NO!

I needed to get out of bed. I needed to run. I needed to think.

"I have to leave here," I said, raspy, no voice left in me. My thoughts were too jumbled; it was too much information all at once. I couldn't handle this –

"Milady, you need to calm down!" Taronel's frantic voice had little effect on me, and my breathing grew quicker and harsher; my heart began beating rapidly – too rapidly. "Miss, you need to calm down! Your heart rate's rising again! You'll go into shock! Please!"

I couldn't hear him, and my eyelids slid shut, my already dark world growing even dimmer as my thoughts began to drown me, and I fell down further and further…

* * *

"_Anakin? Anakin, where are you?" I cried out, glancing around in a vain effort to see my beloved. But everything was dark. Why was it so dark?_

"_Padmé… Padmé, I'm here. Just follow me."_

_I turned, but I couldn't see anything. "Anakin? Ani, is that you?"_

"_Padmé… follow me!"_

"_I can't see you!" I shouted desperately. "Where are you?"_

"_I'm here." His voice was whispers now…_

"_ANAKIN!"_

* * *

"She's awake!"

My eyes flew open, and my breathing came out in long, hoarse gasps. "Anakin! Anakin, come back!"

"She's hallucinating," someone murmured. "She's trying to process all the data, but it's too soon. She might go into shock."

No, wait. I remembered. Polis Massa. Carbonite. Vader. Anakin. Death. I sat up quickly, too quickly.

"Miss, lay back! Please, don't over exhaust yourself!" A hand firmly placed itself on my arm, trying to push me back, but I slapped it away, frustrated.

"Don't touch me!" I snarled. "I have to get out of here – I have to find them!"

"Miss, please, you're still hallucinating – you don't know what you're talking about–"

"Don't you tell me what do to, you kriffing bishwag!" I hissed. "I need to speak with Doctor Taronel!" I knew this was very uncharacteristic and extremely rude, but I was in no diplomatic mood just then.

"But Miss, he's busy–"

"Well then tell him I'm leaving! I need to get off this rock!" I yelled. "I need to… I need to… I… " As if a dam broke, I burst into frustrated tears, sinking to the side of the medical bed. A pair of strong arms gently picked me up and placed me back on the bed, and I buried my head into the pillow, allowing my despair and sorrow to pour over me like a deep river.

Anakin, why? Why?

"_ANAKIN!"_ My mind screamed.

* * *

**Aww, poor Padme. She needs a little break. I know, I'm cruel. But things may get better. You have to review to find out! Hehe. **

**MtFbwy,**

**-Serena Kenobi**


	3. Complications

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena Kenobi**

**Author's note: I just had a huge writing splurge on this fic and wrote over twenty pages of it a few days ago. Despite having surgery and experiencing the most pain I've ever felt before, I got a lot written, and I'm happy where it's going. Reviews are welcomed! **

**Disclaimer: Me no own Star Wars. You no sue me. Capiche?**

* * *

"Milord!" 

Darth Vader turned from his position to looking at the stars. "You found something, Admiral Piett?"

The young Admiral shook his head, embarrassed. "No sir, but the Emperor demands that you make contact with him."

"Move the fleet out of the asteroid field so that we may send a clear transmission," Vader ordered.

Piett nodded. "Yes, Milord."

Vader turned to leave –

"_ANAKIN_!"

Vader stumbled, grabbed a nearby wall for support, his breathing louder and heavier than usual. "Padme…" he breathed.

Piett frowned, startled. "Sir, are you… are you well?"

Vader's inscrutable helmet turned to look at him, and he swallowed. "I… I am fine, Admiral." He straightened and continued down the corridor.

Piett watched him warily, wondering what had just happened back there and who Padme was. He resolved to find out.

Vader walked down the hallway, brooding. He thought that he had managed to rid himself of thoughts of his long deceased wife. But now… he was not so certain. But it had felt so _real_! It was as if she had cried out to him across the galaxy directly into his tortured mind. But she would have to be alive for that to even be possible. But that was impossible. She was dead.

Deciding that it was merely a lapse in mental strength, he resolved to purge all thoughts of Padme and focus on the conversation ahead of him.

* * *

"_Padme."_

My head shot up. Was that… Anakin? No. Anakin was dead. But it had felt so _real! _It was as if he had cried out to her across the galaxy directly into her tortured mind. But he would have to be alive for that to even be possible. But that was impossible. He was dead.

Or was he?

I rubbed my temples. It could be that the records were wrong. I wasn't sure. Well, with Anakin, anything was possible. He could do anything. Survive anything.

I sat in my private quarters on Polis Massa given to me by Doctor Taronel. Turns out my accounts still had plenty of credits in them, even though no one had used them, other than my family. My family… I hadn't seen them in over two decades. But had they been part of this plot? Did they know I had been encased in carbonite? I needed answers, and I needed them soon. No one here could help me. But first, I had to find my children. I had to know they were safe. That they would be all right.

"Milady?"

I turned towards the sound of the voice. "Yes, Doctor Taronel?"

"Milady, how many times have I asked you to call me Corlif? According to your records, you were a queen and a loved senator, I am a simple doctor."

I smiled. "If you've forgotten, Doctor, you're the person who has brought me back to life. I am in your debt."

"Not at all," he sounded offended. "Please, Milady. I don't want you to think you owe me anything. Everything I've done is merely my duty. And I'm honored to serve the former queen of Naboo."

I detected fondness in his warm voice, fondness that was bordering on the edge of more than just a friendly fondness. This wasn't good. "Thank you for everything, Doctor Taronel," I said sincerely, "From the bottom of my heart I thank you. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask a favor of you."

"Of course!" He exclaimed, seizing my small hand in his own.

Now I was certain my instinct had been correct, unfortunately. "I need you to buy me a ship," I said. "Just a small one, not too expensive. I can give you the money."

There was a pause. "You wish to… leave?"

I nodded, uncertain of his emotions. "Yes. I'm sorry, but I have to."

"But why? Padme, do you realize how dangerous it is out there? You won't have anyone to look after you, to protect you!" His tone was urgent, and he grasped my hand tighter. "Padme… I don't want to say this, but as your friend, I must. You cannot survive out in the galaxy all on your own, especially because of your… condition."

"I will do what I must," I snapped, pulling my hand back. My face softening, I continued more quietly, "Thank you for your concern, Doctor, but I'm sure I'll manage. All I'll need is an R2 unit and maybe a protocol droid to help me." I smiled as I remembered Artoo and Threepio. "I can give you money to buy those, too."

"But why do you wish to leave us?" He demanded. I heard him rise to his feet and begin pacing the room. "We've given you everything here – we've – I've- given you your life back! Would you really give all that up? And what for? What's left for you out there?"

"Plenty," I replied coldly. "I am a grown woman, and despite my condition, I am a free person and will go and do as I please. And in case you've forgotten, I once was the Queen of Naboo and can take perfectly good care of myself, with or without my sight." I folded my hands in my lap decorously.

"And I am your doctor," he returned. "And I have the right to say whether or not my patient is in her right mind. And I'm not sure you are. You're so torn up about your _lover_, Anakin Skywalker, who's been long dead, that you're not capable of making rational decisions."

"How dare you!" I shouted, enraged. "How dare you talk about him like that! He was more than my lover, he was my _husband_!"

There was an awkward, stunned beat before I continued, "I thank you for your concern, Doctor Taronel, but I will be leaving, whether you like it or not. And if you will not do as I ask, I will find another person in this facility to aid me."

Taronel sighed. "Very well. I will help you, Milady."

I nodded regally. "Thank you."

* * *

Two days later, I had packed my few things and was getting ready to leave Polis Massa for the planet of Hoth. I knew it was dangerous and foolhardy to go directly into enemy territory and a war zone as well, but I had to find out where my children had gone, or if they were still alive. I needed to find the Rebellion.

I was walking to the ship, accompanied by my now faithful new protocol droid, ironically C4-ME2, whom I just called See-Four-Me. I wonder if Taronel had named her (the droid had a female personality) that on purpose. The astro droid also had a female personality, and I was free to name her. I named her Artoo- DeeFive, or Dee for short. It was nice, having droids again. It was like having a piece of home. Home. I felt bad for not wanting to go to Naboo first – after all, it was my home-planet, and my family was there. Except for my children. And as far as I knew, my Nubian family was fine. They had done without me for the past twenty-one years, they could continue to do so. My children needed me. And I needed them.

No, I was going to Hoth.

"Padme, I really wish you'd reconsider," Taronel jogged up next to me as I held tightly to Cee-Four-Me's metal limb as we walked to my ship. "Think of what you're doing! All the risks!"

I turned to face in his direction. "Doctor… Corlif. Listen to me. I have to do this. There are some people out there who need me. Very much. And I can't let them down."

"But what if I need you, too?" He asked softly.

I slowly reached up with my free hand, touched his face. I heard him inhale sharply and exhale. I rested the hand on his cheek. "You don't know me, Corlif," I stated gently. "You don't know what I've done or who I am. I have a family who needs me. And I need them. I have to find them before other people do." I dropped my hand, but he caught it.

"Padme, please," he begged. "I do know you – I love you!"

My heart began to beat faster, but not because of the effect he was having on me, but because of the effect those words - when another had spoken them to me - had had on me. "No," I said sharply, recoiling. "You don't know me - you don't love me. We've only known each other for a few weeks."

"But Padme-"

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I have to go." To See-Four-Me, I said, "Hurry! Let's go!"

"Padme, no! You're making a mistake!" He cried.

"I'm trying to correct one," I retaliated, hurrying up the ramp as fast as I could; but I heard him following me. "Taronel – go back!" I ordered.

"No!" He said stubbornly.

"Go back, now!" I replied forcefully. I didn't need this!

"You can't make me!" He said obstinately. "You can't even see me – how can you expect to make me leave – I'm trying to save you!"

I froze. "That's exactly what Anakin said," I whispered hoarsely, feeling suddenly weak.

"You still haven't gotten over him yet?" He said rudely.

I lashed out and managed to catch a cheek, snarling, I said, "How dare you! I thought I could trust you – I thought you had decorum and honor!" I bit my lip. "I guess I was wrong to believe that you were a good man, Taronel."

We both stood there for a minute, breathing heavily, both irritated, both indignant. The only difference was that I was not in love with him, as he claimed to be with me. I inhaled deeply and lowered my head before raising it up to meet his. "If you wouldn't mind…"

"I'm just trying to protect you, Padme."

"I know, Doctor. But I can handle this on my own. This is my life. I will live as I choose."

I heard him sigh. "Fine. But I'm coming with you."

"_What_?" My eyes narrowed.

"Just to wherever you're going. I just want to see you settled in, and then you can decide if you want me to leave… or… or stay."

I shook my head. If he knew I was going to Hoth, he would never let me out of his sight. "No, you shouldn't. You have the facility to worry about, and­-"

"I'm sure my interns can take care of it fine. I need to make sure you're all right."

I glared. "You can't just _abandon_ your patients and this place because you _think _you're in love with me, Corlif!"

"I _have _to make sure you're going to be all right, Padme," he insisted.

I turned away from him. "No, really don't. Go, Corlif. I need to do this alone. See-Four-Me, start the engines. We're getting out of here. No." I turned back to him. "_I'm _getting out of here. Alone."

He apparently wasn't listening. "Just as far as to wherever you're going, and then I'm gone. Please, Padme, it's my duty."

_No, it's really not. _I saw that it was useless to argue with him, as he was too obstinate to be swayed. "Fine." I wouldn't tell him where we were going. "Just as far as the system, and then you're going back."

"Of course." He sat beside me in the co-pilot's seat. "Would you like me to pilot?"

"I'm blind, not a child," I snapped, angry at his condescending treatment.

"Of course. I apologize."

The rest of the day was spent in silence.

* * *


	4. Search

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena Kenobi**

**Author's note: I'm so sorry I haven't been posting as much as I usually do. Busy busy busy!! Anyhoo, hope you like this chapter!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars cause I'm paying for the DVDs. **

* * *

Hoth was far away from Polis Massa, and even at lightspeed it would take us three days to get there. During those three days Taronel tried, futilely, to talk to me and make conversation, but I was in no mood for any conversation with him, being too upset at him to even speak in a polite tone to him. On the third day around 1300 hours, I heard a beeping on my console, and Taronel said, "We're coming up on the coordinates. Where are you going, anyway?"

"You'll see," I said shortly, refusing to elaborate. Although he had tried to draw the information out of me, I had stubbornly repudiated him and didn't tell him one thing.

As soon as we dropped out of lightspeed, however, he gasped in horror. "Hoth!" He exclaimed. "You're going to the _Hoth_system! But this is one of the coldest and most barren places in the galaxy! And in case you haven't been listening to the news, the Rebels and the Empire-"

"And in case you haven't been listening to me," I interrupted, temper flaring, "this is my ship, and my life. I have to go here to find some information."

"Information? Padme, this is insane!"

"Be that as it may," I replied coolly, "you are not my father."

He shut up after that, but continued grumbling under his breath. Obviously he didn't know how stubborn I could be when I wanted to. Well, he was about to find out.

We landed close to the Rebel base, but as there were very few life signs, I doubted there were any humans left. I threw on my cloak, and being forced to take Taronel's arm for guidance, we walked out of the ship and into the cold.

"This is madness," he grumbled.

"Then you can go back if you want to, you are not further obligated to continue to go with me," I snapped.

"No, no. I said I would help you, and I will."

We entered the ruins of the Rebel base, and Taronel whistled. "Wow, what a mess."

"Do you think you could locate the archives?" I asked.

"Maybe. But in this kinda disaster, it'll take a while to find."

"Just do it," I ordered. "I need information."

"Why?" He asked, confused.

I hesitated. "It's classified."

"Fine," he sighed, and led me to an abandoned seat. "Wait here."

After a few short minutes, I heard his voice, farther off across the room, say, annoyed, "It might help if I knew what kind of information I was looking for, Milady."

"I'm looking for files on people. Anything. Anyone." _Maybe, just maybe, they'll be in there. _

I heard another sigh. "Very well."

See-Four-Me came up beside me. "Bless me, how cold it is here," she said, still managing to keep her tone light. She wasn't fussy or stuffy like Threepio, and I liked her personality. "Do you need another cloak, Mistress?"

I smiled, shaking my head. "No thank you, See-Four-Me. You can, however, aid Doctor Taronel in searching for some data files."

"At once, Mistress."

Over the next half hour, I sat there, feeling very useless and out of place. Taronel told me when he had found a new data file, but as I couldn't read them, he had to read them to me after he had finished looking for other files in that spot. For the next few days, we stayed on the base, going back to the ship at night to sleep. We found some files that could be usable, but for the most part, we had little luck. Taronel told me most of them were either destroyed or missing, most likely taken by the Empire.

* * *

Taronel had finished reading to me the latest file he had discovered one night while we were on the ship, and then he was silent for a moment. I was also silent, wondering if I would ever find my children again. But then, he spoke. "Padme… what if you don't find anything? What then?"

I shook my head slowly. "I don't know. I'll just keep searching, I suppose."

"But why is it so important you find them?"

"They're my children!" I exclaimed. "They've never even met me!"

"Exactly," he said. "And apparently they've done fine without you so far. Granted, they are Rebels, but if they're grown people-"

"I have to find them. I have to know they're all right. It's my duty to myself, my husband, and my duty as a mother."

He was silent for a moment again. "Have you given any thought about… us?" He asked quietly.

I chose my next words carefully. "Yes. I have."

"So you do love me!" He said, excited.

"That's not what I meant," I replied. "I'm still sticking with my original plan. Alone."

He gave a frustrated sigh. "Padme, you're being foolish! You'll have no one to protect you!"

"I'll be fine. I'll get a nice, little cottage on Naboo or some distant planet away from everywhere else and live peacefully for the rest of my life. With my children."

A pause, then, "Isn't there anything I can say to make you change your mind?"

I only smiled.

"Right. That's what I thought. Well, it's getting late. I'm turning in. Shout if you need anything." He put a hand on my shoulder and left the room.

I stayed up long into the night, listening to the howling of the wind outside. The weather, somewhat ironically, seemed to mirror my turbulent emotions and feelings at the time, what with the swirling snow and the screaming, blustery wind and all. Would I ever be able to find peace? I had not known it in my lifetime.

Anakin. I missed him more than I could put it into words. He had been my life… well, better not to dwell on it. It would only make me feel worse. That was the past. This was the present. Finding and finally reunited with my children was the future. It was time to start looking forward. But that didn't mean I was about to forget him. Never.

* * *

"I think we've done all we can here," I said finally, defeated, nearly a week after we had arrived. There wasn't much noise, only the quiet beeping of Dee and the sound of See-Four-Me's joints moving, and the clattering and rustling of Taronel trying to find new files. "There's nothing of value here."

A sudden crash resonated from far off, and my head snapped towards the sound. "What was that?" I demanded.

"I hear voices," Taronel said, deadpan. "We should leave. It could be pirates."

I started to hear voices coming towards us, and I stood up. "I agree. Let's get out of here."

Taronel grabbed my arm and pulled me along in the opposite direction of the voices. "Hurry up!" He hissed to See-Four-Me.

"Oh my," she said, her voice still not sounding very worried.

The three of us rushed along the forgotten corridors, and suddenly, Taronel swore under his breath and halted abruptly.

"What?" I said, growing more concerned.

"I took the wrong route," he said, sounding angry, "and now this way's blocked. And by the sound of it, those voices are blocking the only entrance out to the ship."

"So we're trapped?" I said, dreading the answer.

"I'm afraid so. Unless I can turn back and find another way out…"

"Let's go back," I said suddenly. "Those men might not be pirates. It's the only way out, anyway, and you and I both know it."

"It's too dangerous-"

"They're going to find us either way, Taronel."

I heard him curse again, and he roughly yanked me back in the direction from which we had just come. The voices, all male, grew steadily closer, and finally, they sounded only a few yards away from us. "Let me go in first," Taronel said in a low voice.

"No," I objected, "I'm the politician. I might be able to negotiate with them." Before he could persuade me otherwise, I released myself from his grasp and felt my way into the room where the voices were. I knew it was foolish, but I had to make a decision. Once I entered, the voices grew silent.

"What's this?" A gruff male voice asked.

"A beautiful woman all the way here on this desolate planet? Who are you, gorgeous?" Another asked.

"I'm…" I was wise enough not to give my real name, so I said, "I'm Corde." My heart felt a pang as I remembered my loyal handmaiden who had died for me all those years ago. "I'm sorry, but I can't see you. I'm blind."

"Blind? Well, now, this is interesting," a new voice said, sounding truly curious. "How would a blind woman get all the way out here on her own?"

Taronel stepped up next to me. "She didn't," he said in a menacing voice, slipping an arm around my waist. "I'm her husband."

* * *

**I liked this chapter. Let me know if you did, too! Cheerio!**

**MtFbwy,**

**-Serena Kenobi **


	5. Death

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena Kenobi**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Happy new year! Thanks for the reviews. I know you all want Taronel dead... so, here's a little something to make you all feel better. **

**Disclaimer: I don't, and I ain't never gonna own Star Wars. Y'all feel me? (Disclaiming in "Da Hood" talk today.) **

* * *

  
"Husband, eh?" One of the men said.

I stiffened and set my teeth.

"What would you be doing out here?" The first man asked us.

"We are scientists," Taronel said. "We were studying the temperatures and the effects ice and snow have on certain technologies."

"Strange," the second man commented.

"And who are you gentlemen?" I asked politely, trying very subtly to distance myself from Taronel.

They all laughed. "Gentlemen, right," the first man chuckled. "We're smugglers, darling. We're meetin' some… friends of ours here."

"How interesting," I lied. "And may I ask your names?"

"I'm Captain Raler Norray," the first man said. "And these two blokes are Tyros Anthek and Moin Tarkcin. Oh, and this man to my right, the Corellian, is Dash Rendar. He's just joinin' us for a short while."

"Pleasure, I'm sure," Dash spoke, sounding uninterested.

"We're just sittin' down to have some grub," Tyros added. "Care to join us?"

Taronel said tightly, "No, thank you. We should be pressing on."

"Suit yourself, Sir Stuck-Up," Raler snorted.

I couldn't help myself. A small laugh burst out from my lips before I could stop it, and I put a hand over my mouth to stifle my giggles.

The men burst out laughing, and Raler said, "Well, the little lady's got herself a sense of humor! How 'bout sittin' down with us, love? Leave the prune to wander off by himself."

"I am not a prune!" Taronel shouted.

"Coulda fooled me," Moin muttered.

I smiled. It was impossible not to like these men. "Thank you for your generous offer, but I'm afraid I must be going. I have some people I need to find."

"I'm good at finding people," Dash Rendar spoke suddenly.

I shifted, uncomfortable. "Yes, well, these are my family. I doubt you'd want to look for them."

"I've got no love for the Empire, I can tell ya that," Dash added quietly.

"None of us do," Moin piped up. "Anythin' anti-Imp goes fine here."

I shook my head, still smiling. "Thanks, but we really should be going. Right, dear?" I glared in Taronel's direction.

"Yes," Taronel said quickly.

"It was wonderful to meet you all," I took Taronel's arm and squeezed it tightly.

"You, too, little lady," Raler said. I heard a scrape of a seat, and then a warm, rough hand took mine and shook it.

Taronel tensed, but I smiled at him and squeezed his hand, not hard, but firmly, in friendly manner.

"What's all this?" A different, harsh voice said, sounding dark and unfriendly. "Norray, where's my goods?"

Raler's hand left mine, and he said, "Well, Kelcus, 'bout time you got here."

I then heard the sound of a blaster clicking. "'Bout time you handed over what you promised."

"I'll do nothing of the sort," Raler returned. "Not until I get my money."

"Sorry, we forgot it. Guess you'll just have to give it." Kelcus laughed, and others, sounding like they were behind him, did as well. "We've got you outnumbered, Norray. Don't do anything stupid. Give up your weapons, gentlemen."

I paled and grabbed Taronel's arm. "Please, let us go," I spoke. "We are just scientists; we have no quarrel with you."

I heard footsteps approach, and Taronel reached for a hidden blaster I knew he kept behind his back.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Kelcus's voice was very close now. "Who's this little beauty, Raler?"

"I am Corde." I held my head high.

I felt a bit of air passing in front of my face, and Kelcus laughed. "Blind, eh? Well, now, isn't that interesting."

"Leave her alone!" Taronel stepped forward.

"Make me." Before I could even comprehend what had happened, a blaster shot rang out, and I sucked in air. I felt Taronel's arm slide off my waist, and he slumped to the floor. My mouth fell open in horror.

"You… you killed him!" I gasped.

"He wasn't one of us!" Dash growled, "He was just a scientist!"

"A scientist with a blaster," Kelcus said coolly.

I felt myself growing furious, and I lashed out with both my fists, hitting whatever and wherever I could. "You monster!" I yelled, enraged. "He was just a doctor! He didn't hurt anyone!"

Two strong hands grabbed mine, and I was forced against the wall. "Watch your mouth, sweetie." I felt his stench on my face; and a hand ran down my neck.

"Let go of her!" Raler roared.

And then the shooting started. Amidst the confusion, I was thrown to the ground, and I covered my head, my fingers digging into the hard ground. I lay there for around three minutes, and then everything was silent.

"Who's there?" I whispered.

A warm, gloved hand touched my back gently. "Hey, Corde," Dash's voice said, low in my ear. "We gotta get outta here. We managed to kill most of Kelcus's gang, but he'll have support on his ship."

"Are the others still alive?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Yeah, we're here," Raler said, his voice gruff. "But Moin's hurt. Come on, little lady." I was pulled to my feet, and Dash said, "Here, take my arm." He put his other arm around my slightly trembling form, and we rushed out of the base. The cold wind hit my face with a brutal force, and I put up a hand to shield myself. Dash pulled up my hood, and we hurried up the ramp and entered the ship.

"Quick, get some bacta patches on him!" Raler ordered.

Dash set me down in a seat, and I sat there, feeling helpless. I heard Tyros, who was tending to Moin, swear under his breath. "I'm a smuggler, not a medic," he grumbled.

"Here, let met help," I instantly said. "I have some basic medical training." I reached out blindly, and he took my hand and helped me next to where Moin lay.

"Are you sure you can do this, Miss Corde?" He asked hesitantly.

I nodded firmly. "Yes. Medical aid was drilled into us as part of our handmaiden training." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Handmaiden? Wow, you sure get around."

I blushed. "Well, I suppose now that you're my only hope of survival, I should tell you something of myself. I'm not a scientist. I – wait, where's my droid?"

"Oh, you mean the silver protocol droid?"

"Yes!"

"Don't worry, we managed to save her. I'm sorry, but we couldn't save your ship, but we did get your astro droid."

I looked down. The files that we had collected were no longer available; thus, my entire trip here had been for nothing. I bit my lip and fought hard to keep my voice leveled. "That's all right. I'm just thankful you saved my life." Turning back to my patient of sorts, I put my hands on Moin's neck, then moved up to his face. "He's getting cold," I said, worried. "He'll need some blankets." As he left to get them, I ran my hands down Moin's chest lightly, searching carefully and delicately for the wounds. Every time I found one, I took a cloth and dabbed at it carefully, then put a bacta patch on it. It was slow, especially because I was blind, but eventually I got all the wounds. I suddenly felt his chest begin to rise more quickly, and I heard him moan. "Shh, stay calm," I said.

He chuckled hoarsely. "What a lovely way to wake up," I heard him say jokingly. "A stunning woman whose hands are currently on my chest."

I realized my hands were still on his bare chest and quickly pulled them away, blushing. He laughed and captured them in his larger hands. "Thanks, beautiful," he said. "Appreciate it."

"It was nothing," I said, shaking my head.

"Moin! Flirting with the doctor, eh?" Tyros's voice came closer, and he dropped down on the other side of Moin. "Here are your blankets, you old softie," he grinned.

Moin chuckled again. "Thanks, Ty. But at least I didn't have to wake up to your ugly face."

Tyros burst out laughing, as did Moin, and it was so infectious that I had to join them. Although I had lost my ship, Taronel, and had no information on my family, I couldn't remember laughing so hard in my life.

I had many losses, even in the short time after I had woken up, but I felt that things might just start to look up a little bit.

I stayed by Moin's side for the next few hours and listened to him talk about all the adventures he had had as a smuggler, but soon I was growing tired.

"Look, beautiful, you're about to drop dead from exhaustion. Why don't you get some shut-eye. I'm sure one of the guys would let you have his bunk."

"I can just sleep out in the central hold area," I protested. "There's a bench I could use."

Footsteps approached, and Raler's voice said, "Nonsense, little lady! You're our guest, and you'll take my bunk. I insist." Two strong arms wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me up and carried me to his bedroom, then placed me on the bunk.

"I could've walked, you know," I said, amused. "I may be blind but I'm not a cripple."

He laughed. "Just doing you a common courtesy and helping out a lady," he replied. "Have a good sleep. We'll talk about your situation in the morning." I heard the door shut with a _whoosh_, and then I rolled over and curled up into a ball, my mind once again overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. I was incredibly upset that Taronel was dead. He had been a loyal companion, to say the least. I felt somewhat guilty about bringing him to Hoth – I was the reason he was dead. _But HE chose to come with you! _Another voice in my head reminded me. _It's not your fault, Padme. _

But still, I felt guilty. I only wish I could've said goodbye. Tears began to prick at the corners of my eyes, and soon enough, I was quietly sobbing into the pillow. Why did everything I came in contact with have to die? Why me?

I cried myself to sleep that night; but my dreams were not of death, strangely enough.

They were of Anakin.

* * *

**So that's that, yo. Hope everyone enjoyed it! **

**MtFbwy,**

**- Serena Kenobi **


	6. Friends

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena Kenobi**

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I had mixed emotions about Taronel's death - I, for one, was glad to kill him off. Yes, I admit it. He was bugging the heck outta me. But don't worry, there'll be some other guys coming along... but of course, we have to stay focused - ANAKIN! Well, Vader, actually. Anyhoo, hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

The next morning, I carefully got up, smoothed out my rebelliously curly hair, and fumbled for the button that would open the door. After a few frustrated minutes, I located it and stepped out into the hallway. I heard voices and laughter and made my way, carefully, towards the central hold area. Feeling my way against the wall, I eventually entered the hold.

"Hey, the little lady's awake!"

"Hi there, beautiful!"

"Morning, sweetheart."

"Hey, handmaiden."

I smiled gratefully at all the welcoming voices, and I felt a two hands gently take mine and lead me over to the bench. I found myself right next to a lying down Moin, and I turned my face towards him. "How are you feeling this morning?" I asked.

"Better, beautiful, especially after your careful watching-over." I heard a grin in his voice.

"Obviously you haven't felt the effects of the poisoned bandages I used yet," I said playfully.

The others roared with laughter.

"I see you can handle yourself, little lady," Raler said, a hint of admiration in his voice. "You hungry? We got some gourmet ration bars."

"That's fine," I nodded. "I'm so hungry I could eat this table right here." I placed my hands on the table for emphasis.

"Been there, done that," Tyros sniggered. "Can't you feel the teeth-marks?"

"Very funny," Dash spoke dryly. "I don't know about you laserbrains, but I eat thunderstorms for breakfast."

"By the Force, I'm not going anywhere near you in the future," I teased.

More laughter from the men. "Man, you're a little spitfire!" Tyros exclaimed.

"It's just the way I was born," I returned, smiling. It was so easy to feel happy and content with these men. I felt myself forgetting my troubles for a moment, and it was refreshing.

A ration bar was placed into my hand, and Raler said, "Here. It's not much. We'll have to stock up on more food once we reach a well-populated planet."

"Oh, really, it's perfectly fine," I assured him, biting into the bar. "I've had much worse before."

I heard Raler sit down, his chair squeaking, and the four men became silent. Two were involved in a game, what game I didn't know; Raler, I believe, was watching; and Moin was lying there, also watching the game. It was a comfortable silence, broken only by "Good move!" or "Ah, stang!" followed by the sound of a slap and then "There's a lady present, idiot!" Although I couldn't see their faces or what moves they were making, I couldn't help but smile all the same. These comical men took my mind off my darker thoughts, for which I was glad.

"Now, Mrs. Taronel," Raler said suddenly, "I think we should discuss your future."

I nodded uncertainly. "Indeed. I have money – I just need to access my account."

"We can drop you off wherever your home was," Raler continued gently, "And may I say that I'm sorry for your loss. In all the confusion yesterday I'm afraid we weren't very thoughtful towards you."

"Oh, no!" I interjected. "You were! I can't thank you enough for saving my life and letting me come aboard your ship – but I'm afraid to tell you that I don't have a home. I lived on a base – Polis Massa. Taronel was a doctor and a scientist there. But now that he's dead, I don't think they would want me living there. There's nothing for me there anymore."

"So what then are your plans?"

I set my jaw. "With your consent, Captain, I would like to stay with you and your crew."

There was silence that followed.

"Stay with us?" Raler finally said, incredulous. "But we're smugglers – you're a scientist, and not to be rude, a blind one at that. What would you do?"

"I have some medical training. I know how to shoot. I have diplomatic expertise – I can help you get out of sticky situations through negotiations if necessary. I know how to cook. Please, I'll do anything."

"Are you sure?" He asked skeptically.

"Quite sure."

Raler paused before saying, "Well, men? Whaddya say?"

"Let her join!"

"Absolutely!"

Dash said, "I'm not part of the crew, but I'll vote for her anyway."

"Then that's settled," Raler said firmly. "Mrs. Taronel­-"

"No," I interrupted.

"Excuse me?" He said, puzzled.

"I'm not Mrs. Taronel anymore. And my name isn't Corde, either. It's Padme… Skywalker. Corde was a friend of mine. Just Padme will do."

"Why change your first name?"

I shrugged. "I wasn't sure how much I could trust you, but now I see there's no reason why I shouldn't give you my real name."

"Padme… Skywalker, did you say?"

I nodded. "It was my first husband's name."

"Padme Skywalker it is then. Somehow it suits you better," Raler said.

"Welcome to the crew, beautiful," Moin said, laughing.

I smiled, but it was a half-hearted smile. Although I liked all these scoundrels, I missed _my_scoundrel. I missed Anakin.

* * *

A week passed. During that week, I got to know the crew a little better. Since I couldn't see them, I asked for descriptions and approximate ages.

Raler, the captain, was a human male, as they all were, and told me he had brown hair that was fairly long, he was 6'2", and had hazel eyes. When I asked him his age, he laughed and said, "I'm no young buck, but I'm not an old timer, either." I decided to guess his age around thirty-five or thirty-six.

Tyros told me he had black hair, short, and green eyes. He told me his age: thirty-two, and he also said his height was 6'. I liked him already, and I felt that he was one of the gentler men. I felt I could trust him most. He always found the time to help me read or write something, and we spent many hours talking.

Moin was the real character in the group. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and, he told me, a killer smile. He told me his age was twenty-five, but I was disinclined to believe him. I finally resolved on making his age around thirty. He was the youngest in the group, and the most inexperienced. I didn't tell him how old I was – any of them – but if I did, I was sure they wouldn't believe me. It would take a little while longer before I could trust them fully, but I was already inclined to do so. Dash was the loner, but he wasn't staying with us for too much longer. He told me that he had red hair and green eyes. They were all Corellian.

We finally docked for supplies and to exchange goods at a shipyard on Corellia, and I could tell the men were excited to see their home planet. I was ashamed to say that I had never been to Corellia before, and when I told the men this, they simultaneously began talking about what I should see and which restaurants (or bars, rather) were the best, and I laughed and said, "I didn't know you were tour guides, too."

"We're multi-talented, beautiful," Moin said.

"I'm sure," I replied dryly.

Raler said, "We're gonna need someone to show the little lady around while we do our thing."

"I'll do it!" Moin instantly volunteered himself.

Tyros – I knew it was Tyros – snorted.

"No, Moin, I need you. Ty, if you wouldn't mind taking care of the little lady for a while," Raler said.

"Not at all," Ty said, "It'll be my pleasure."

"Why him?" Moin squawked.

"Why you?" Ty returned.

"Lucky sithspawn," Moins muttered.

"Do you ever shut up?" Dash said, his voice sounding half bored, half annoyed as usual. I couldn't seem to figure him out.

Moin wasn't fazed. "Nope."

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**There's that. Reviews are more than welcome!**

**MtFbwy,**

**- Serena K. **


	7. Shooter

**Blinded By Love**

**A/N: **_Okay, I had time to update this because I remembered that I'd already written this chapter. I'm sorry - I can't remember what I've written and what I haven't, I have so many stories. Oh, well. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for everything!_

_- Serena_

* * *

Only a few short hours later, we entered the Corellian system and docked in the shipyard. Raler, Dash, and Moin left the ship to meet the people with whom they were supposed to trade, leaving Ty and me to ourselves on the ship.

"You ready to go, handmaiden?"

I nodded, feeling somewhat tense. "Yes." _I think._

A protective, warm hand placed itself on my arm. "Hey, Padme. Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you," Ty said. "I give you my word."

I smiled gratefully; glad he had picked up on my feelings. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

"You wanna go, then?"

I nodded, and his hand took mine and placed it in the crook of his arm. We left the ship and rented a speeder, and Ty helped me in before hopping in himself. "Where to first?" I asked him curiously.

"Well, I would take you to a really good bar, but I'm afraid it's not a good place for a lady such as yourself," Ty said, his voice sounding half disappointed, half amused.

I frowned, turning my head towards him. "Is there anywhere else that has maybe a restaurant and a bar together that you like?"

Ty made a noise. "Smart girl," he commented. "Good idea. I'll take you to the _Coronet. _It's a restaurant in Coronet City, which is where we are right now."

"Great." We rode for a while in silence, and then I said hesitantly, not sure when I would have the chance to talk with him alone again, "Ty, I'm not a young woman."

I could tell Ty was puzzled. "What d'ya mean? You don't look older than thirty."

I said, "I'm actually forty-eight."

Ty laughed. "Sure you are." After I stayed silent, my mouth pressed into a line, he said slowly, "You're not joking, are you?"

I shook my head.

He sucked in some air. "Whoa… I just… whoa. But how do you look so young? I'd like to learn your secret." He half-laughed.

"Trust me, it's not a process I'd like to relive." Deciding to tell the full truth, I continued, "I was put into carbonite twenty-one years ago."

"Carbonite? Why?"

"I'm not sure. I don't have any answers. One minute I was lying on a medical bed, and the next thing I knew I was being awoken from carbonite. But because I was in it for so long, the effects of the freezing made me permanently blind." I rubbed my temples.

After a second, he said, "Why are you telling me this now? You don't seem to trust anybody – which is a good thing in this galaxy, especially for someone in your position – but why tell me this now?"

"Ty, I trust you. You're actually the only one I can trust right now."

"I'm flattered," he said sincerely. "Padmé, I just want to reassure you that you can trust me. And the others, too. I'm not sure if you're a friend of the Empire or not, though-"

"Believe me, no one hates the Empire and the Emperor more than I do," I quickly interrupted. "I used to know the Emperor before he became the Emperor."

"You… know the Emperor? How?"

I licked my lips. "I used to be a Senator, and he used to be one of my advisers. We went a long way back."

"That's… wait, you're a Senator?" He sounded amazed. "You are an intriguing person, Padmé. A doctor, handmaiden, and now senator? You do get around. Anything else I should know?"

"Yes. My husband was a Jedi Knight. You might have heard of him – Anakin Skywalker."

"Skywalker? I knew that name sounded familiar. But wait, I thought Jedi weren't allowed to marry."

"We broke the rules," I explained. "But he was killed by Darth Vader." My fists clenched.

Tyros said, "I'm sorry, Padmé."

"Thank you. All that I have left of him are my two children."

"Children? Where are they?"

I sighed. "I don't know. They were taken from me before I was put into carbonite. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa – Skywalker."

"Wait, those two? They're famous! Luke Skywalker – he's a hero of the Rebellion! They both are!"

I smiled. "I know. I'm so proud of them."

"You, Padmé Skywalker, are one amazing woman."

I blushed. "Thank you, Tyros. I appreciate that. But I would ask you to keep this entire conversation a secret for now. I don't want word getting out that I'm the mother of the Rebel leaders."

"Of course not. Don't worry, my lips are sealed."

"Thank you."

We stopped at the restaurant and entered. After we had sat down and ordered, Tyros let out a large breath of air.

"What?" I asked.

"The man up there has a blaster."

"So?" I didn't see the relevance of it. "You're carrying one, too."

"No. This guy's ready to shoot. I can tell."

I heard a thump of footsteps, and then Ty said, "Uh-oh. Stormies."

"Stormies?" I wasn't familiar with the word.

"Oh, right. Stormtroopers. The white armored guys with helmets working for the Empire."

Suddenly I heard a sound of someone punching, and then a volley of blaster shots. People began screaming, and in the confusion, Ty grabbed me and roughly pulled me up and started to run – presumably for the exit. People kept banging into me trying to get out first, pushing and shoving, and because of one particularly hard shove, Ty and I were separated.

"TYROS!" I screamed, and felt myself being shoved. I stumbled and fell to the ground, my hands scraping the hard floor. I winced but stayed down in case the shooter decided to go after more civilians. After a few minutes, the screaming and footsteps passing subsided, and all was silent. I raised my head, but of course I couldn't see.

_Damn! _I didn't usually curse, but now would be a better time than any. "Damn it!" I said aloud.

"You can get up now," a deep voice said from above me. "All the stormtroopers are dead."

As he was behind me, I slowly stood up and turned around. I heard him – whoever he was – suck in his breath a little. "Are you the shooter?" I asked boldly.

"Yeah. You're blind."

"Thanks, I already knew that," I snapped. "Why were you shooting?"

"I don't like stormtroopers. What's your name?"

"Neither do I. Doesn't mean I go around shooting them. Name's Padmé Skywalker."

I heard a hoarse, deep laugh. "You're a little spitfire."

"I doubt the Empire would like you killing its soldiers."

"Frankly, lady, I don't care what the Empire thinks."

"Neither do I. It's your funeral, not mine." Having enough of this irritating man, I turned to go.

"How will you find your way out if you can't see?" He asked.

"I'll figure a way," I retorted.

A gloved hand grabbed my arm, and before I knew what was happening, I was being led somewhere. "Let go of me!" I hissed.

"Relax, I'm showing you the way out."

"Right, like I should trust you."

"Right now, lady, I'm the only person you can trust."

"Padmé!" Tyros's welcoming voice came towards us, and another hand grabbed my free shoulder. "Are you all right? I couldn't get to you sooner – people were blocking the exit."

"I'm fine." I ripped my arm out of the other man's grasp. "No thanks to him," I nodded my head in his direction.

Tyros said, "You're the shooter."

"That's right. This your wife?"

"Hah! She's a member of our crew. What were you thinking, shooting in a public place?" Tyros sounded extremely ticked off. I mirrored his thoughts.

"I guess I wasn't thinking. Have a nice life." The man walked away, his footsteps sounding very loud in the silent restaurant.

"Who was that guy?" I asked as Ty led me outside.

"I don't know. But he was a trained shooter – I'd say some kind of hired assassin. Come on, let's join the others. They're probably finished by now."

But we didn't realize that someone was watching us until we had made our way to the speeder a block away, and Ty tensed, speeding up his walk. I stumbled, and his hand moved to my back. "What is it?" I asked, my hands still bleeding.

"Someone's following us." I felt him turn, and he swore under his breath. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's a group of stormies."

I frowned. "But why are they following us?"

"I don't know."

"Hey, you! Stop!" I heard a loud voice from behind.

"Run!" Tyros shouted, and we broke into a run. And then came the shooting.

_What is with me and shooting?_ I thought dryly, and then another rough hand grabbed me and yanked me to the side. I cried out, and to my surprise, the rough voice that was the voice of the shooter in the bar growled low and warm in my ear: "Did you say your name was Skywalker?"

I paled and shouted, "TYROS!"

"Padmé!" The voice seemed far off, and the assailant's hand covered my mouth. I tried to free myself, but the man was practically twice my size.

"No, shh! Would you just listen to me?"

I halted.

"Are you any relation to the Rebel Skywalker?"

I didn't know what to say. I ripped my hand off and said, "Whom are you working for?"

"I ain't workin' for no one. Should I take that as a yes?"

With all the strength left in me, I elbowed him in the gut and ducked under his other arm, running to Force knew where. "TYROS!" I screamed. "Where are you?"

"Padme!" Tyros grabbed my arm, and he practically dragged me alongside him. "C'mon, we have to get out of here!"

"Ya think?"

We made it back to the ship relatively unscathed, but my heart and mind was troubled about the conversation I had had with the shooter. Something told me he had not revealed everything he had known. Something was wrong. Maybe I had been too free with my name. Suddenly, a dreaded thought hit me. What if he had been working for Vader? Had I just endangered the crew?

* * *

**Okay, I know you're wondering: who the heck was that shooter? And why is he important to the story? I'll give you a hint - he's my favorite Star Wars hunk. ;D **

**And if you still don't know who I'm talking about, you'll have to wait and see. Thanks for reading!**

**- Serena  
**


	8. Dream

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena**

**A/N: **_OK, OK, I know I've been a horrible authoress, not updating for so long. But don't worry, we're going to get to the really good parts soon. But I do have some good news - not only am I updating now, but I'm about done with the first draft of my novel! YAY! Love all of you guys!! Thanks so much for waiting._

_Now I have to give a shoutout to my TFN boards homies - **ILDV** and **DanaeMariSkywalker**. Thanks for dropping by, guys! And if I missed anyone, let me know!_

_I wish I had time to reply to all of your wonderful reviews, but sleep awaits!_

* * *

Over the next three weeks, I became integrated into the crew. Dash went off after the first week to do his own thing; and although I would miss him, he promised to stop by once in a while to check up on me. Ty and Moin were my personal favorites, but Ty I could talk to about my deeper issues. I learned from Ty that most of his family was still on Corellia, but he didn't see them very often.

"Family feud," he told me one afternoon as I was sewing up one of Raler's torn shirts. I wasn't sure how good a job I was doing, "We've never gotten along."

"May I ask why?"

"Eh, long story. My uncle was taken as a baby as a Jedi, but my grandparents didn't want him to be taken. But the in-laws were connected with the Jedi in some way, so a fight started. My uncle ended up getting killed in the Purges."

I swallowed, and my hands started to shake. Before I knew it, I'd pricked my finger on my needle. I put my finger to my mouth and sucked it.

"You all right?" Ty asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just poked myself," I said, partially lying.

Silence for a moment.

"Oh, kriff, I'm sorry, Padme," Ty apologized. "I forgot... your husband."

"It's okay." I kept my head down to my sewing. "Not your fault. He died a hero. That's what matters."

_Oh, Anakin, my love. What have they done to us? _

I pushed my agonized thoughts away and cleared my throat, returning to my sewing. But when a warm hand covered mine, I froze. I really couldn't take another Taronel right now. "Ty..."

"Padme," he interrupted gently. "You've torn your stiches."

"Have I?" I muttered.

"Yeah. Listen, I know you're not ready for a relationship anytime soon, but I just want you to know that I'm going to be here for you."

"Ty," I said, biting my lip, "I don't know if I'll ever get over Anakin."

_What is it with me and attracting all these scoundrels? Do I have a sign on my head that says "Seeking a Meaningful Relationship: Available Former Senator"? _

"Padme, relax," he chuckled. "I meant as a friend. After the way Taronel was with you, I'd never presume anything more than friendship. You know we all love you. You're a part of this crew now. You're family."

I nodded. "Thank you, Ty. But as much as I'm grateful for being accepted into this family... there's still my real family out there somewhere, family who need me. And who I need, too."

"I understand. And I want to help you look for them."

I smiled. "Thank you." I squeezed his hand. "Now you'd better pull away before I accidentally stab you with this needle." I hoped he would take the kind hint and release me. To my relief, he did.

* * *

_Anakin... Anakin, I need you. _

I lay in my small cot, eyes drifting shut as I remembered my beloved husband.

_Anakin... why did you leave me? I wondered painfully. But when I opened my eyes, I gasped. "I can see!" _

_"Padme."_

_I turned to see a familiar figure standing on the terrace, backed by the red, pink, and gold sunset. The black figure smiled at me. "Anakin," I breathed. I rushed forward and enveloped myself in his strong, warm arms. _

_"Padme," he murmured. "Padme, I miss you." _

_"I miss you, too," I whispered, feeling tears prick my once again seeing eyes. "Oh, Anakin. Why does it have to be like this?" I pulled back and realized that tears ran down my cheeks. "Why did you leave me?"_

_"I'll never leave you," he promised fervently. His dark blue eyes glittered with warmth and passion - all for me. "I'll never leave you, Padme." He slid a hand up my neck and took my mouth, kissing me as if he'd never kiss me again. All my hopes, dreams, and love burst forth in the heated kiss; and my arms slid around his neck. After what seemed like forever, I reluctantly pulled away.  
_

_"But this isn't real," I whispered. "You're not real. This is just a dream... always a dream..." I turned away, my eyes sliding shut. _

_"Padme. I'm here," he said quietly. "I'm never going to leave you. I swear." I felt a gloved finger touch my bare shoulder. "Padme... look at me." _

_"I can't," I moaned. "I love you too much, Anakin. This is too much." _

_"I love you, Padme. Look at me. Please." _

_His gentle, loving prodding undid me. Glancing back, I stared at his gloved hand. His inhuman hand. But I didn't care. I loved him. All of him.  
_

_But when I took Anakin's gloved hand and slowly met the eyes of my husband... I stared up not into the face of Anakin... but into the mask of Darth Vader. _

_I screamed_.

My eyes flew open. I bolted upright in bed, gasping for breath. My chest rose and fell heavily from shock and fear, and I sunk over, my head touching my blanket-covered knees. I didn't move for a full five minutes, shaking.

_Oh, Force. _

Minutes passed. I still couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

_Anakin... _

A faint knock on my door. "Padme?"

I sighed. "Go away, Ty."

"Padme, are you all right?" he whispered. "I thought I heard you."

"Go back to sleep. There's nothing you can do for me. I need to... be alone right now."

"Padme, don't do this. Don't shut everyone out," Ty pleaded.

"Are you a smuggler or a psychiatrist?" I asked crossly.

I heard him swear under his breath and knock a fist against the door in frustration. He fell silent for another minute until he finally said in a low voice, "Padme, I'm just trying to help."

_You can't help me. No one can. I am alone. _

"Tyros... go back to sleep," I told him in a quiet voice. I could feel the hot tears running down my cheeks, and I grew immediately angry at my weakness. I had been stronger than this once. I'd been determined, bold, brave. Nothing could stop me. Not vile gangsters, or Counts, or Separatists, or droid armies. I'd been able to stand in front of thousands of people and speak without fumbling once. I had ruled all of Naboo for years. I'd stood up to everyone who opposed me.

But now...

"All right," Ty said with a heavy sigh. "But if you need me, call me on the com."

"I will."

_I won't. _

"Thank you, Ty." I slowly sat up and lay back on my pillows. Listening carefully, I waited until his footsteps had disappeared down the corridor of the ship until allowing my eyes to drift shut again. Needless to say, I got no more sleep that night.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, the table conversation... wasn't really a conversation at all. Ty, I knew, wanted to bring up last night but couldn't in front of the others; I simply wanted to eat in peace and forget about the incident; and the other two were merely confused by the awkward silence.

"Padme," Ty said finally, "how are you feeling?"

_Annoyed. _

My hand clenched my fork, but outside I remained calm. My senatorial expression, Anakin used to call it when I hid my emotions. He hated it. "I'm perfectly fine, thank you." My tone was diplomatic. I'd used it so often that it became habit when I needed it.

"Oh." Tyros sounded put off by my tone. "Good."

We fell into another uncomfortable silence.

Desperate to break the uneasy quiet, Raler said, "So, did you guys hear about Princess Leia?"

I froze.

"No, what about her?" Moin asked, his mouth obviously full of food. Tyros had stopped eating like I had.

"She got captured by Vader on Bespin, but she managed to get away. And the Jedi, Luke Skywalker, he dueled Vader and got his hand cut off. But then he got away, too," Raler told us.

I choked on my food, my heart rate gone up considerably. Tyros' fork clattered onto his plate, and his hand went to my back, patting it to calm me down.

"You okay, Padmé?" Moin asked, sounding concerned.

I barely nodded and motioned to Tyros that I was all right. "Yes, I'm fine. Just... went down the wrong pipe." My head turned toward Tyros' direction, and slowly, he took his hand off my back.

"So why you talking 'bout this, Cap'n?" Tyros inquired, sounding guarded for my sake. "What's this got to do with us? I mean, it's not good for the Rebellion, but it doesn't affect us."

"I mentioned them because next week we're making a delivery on the planet of Yag'Dhul. The top dogs of the Rebellion and the Empire are gonna be there – some kind of diplomatic assembly. They've both claimed the planet as a neutral one, so no fighting. We're supposed to make the drop off near the assembly."

My heart now nearly stopped beating. "Do-do you know who will be there?" I managed to ask, my throat dry.

"Yeah. Skywalker, the Princess, that Senator – Mothma – Vader, Admirals, Xizor," Raler rattled off.

"Vader?" My voice had acquired an edge to it.

"Yeah," Raler continued, "I take it you don't like him?"

_Damn straight._ "He killed my husband," I said in a low voice.

There was a confused silence, and then I realized what I had said. _Oh, kriff. _

"What d'ya mean?" Moin asked, bewildered. "I thought that Kelcos killed Taronel."

"I mean my first husband," I corrected my careless mistake. "I was married to another man before Taronel. Vader murdered him."

The men winced, and Moin said sympathetically, "I'm sorry, beautiful."

I clenched my fists. "Thanks. I loved my first husband more than I've ever loved anyone. Taronel… Taronel was sweet, but he tended to be too overbearing. My first husband… I couldn't live without him. He was everything to me." Unwanted tears streamed down my cheeks, and I wiped them angrily away. "I'm sorry. Here I am pouring out my heart and I sound like a love-struck idiot." I rose quickly from my seat, intending to leave the table.

"No," the men simultaneously protested, and gently grabbed my arms, pulling me back down.

"No, it's all right, little lady," Raler insisted. "We don't mind. We're just a bunch of old softies, anyway. Don't be afraid to tell us anything. We're here for you, right boys?"

"Right," the other two said together.

I smiled through my tears and reluctantly sat back down. "Thanks. You guys are the best." But I wasn't going to tell them everything right now. I'd already told too much.

"Hey, you're part of the family now," Raler said. "No secrets here."

_Family._ That word was no stranger to me. But I needed to find my real family. And maybe I would finally find them - Force only knew. I exhaled and brought my attention back to the mens' conversation.

No secrets, Raler said. But I needed to protect them - Ty already knew everything. And I'd made a huge mistake back on Coreliia by telling that mysterious shooter my name. _Force, I've been stupid, _I realized. _Here I am telling everyone and his brother that my name is Skywalker when my son is a wanted man, and my husband a dead Jedi. I can't tell anyone else anything. It's too risky. _

I resolved then to keep everything else about my past a secret. I couldn't take what I'd said already back, but I could keep quiet from then on.

Padme Skywalker didn't need to exist anymore.

* * *

**Yeah, I know, no action in that one. And Ty isn't going to be another Taronel - he's just really concerned about Padme as a friend, like he said. He might be having a few feelings for her, but nothing beyond good friendship at this point. **

**And as for my favorite SW hunk back in the last chapter, don't worry. He'll be back. Like the Terminator. Only... hunkier. And without an Arnold accent. Hee.  
**

**Reviews would be lovely! :D**

**- Serena  
**


	9. Incident

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena**

**A/N:** _OK, there's really no excuse for my delay. But I promise you, this story is not on hiatus, and I WILL finish it. This chapter is extra long because it's so overdue, and I'll try not to take so long next time. _

* * *

Over the next week, my concern morphed into panic. Although I tried to keep my feelings in check, remember the meditation techniques Obi-Wan had taught me a long time ago, and try not to think about Vader too much, none of them helped very well. The only thing that calmed me down was the thought of my children being on Yag'Dul. I was tempted to ask Captain Raler if I could somehow get to where Luke and Leia were, but after listening to Raler talk about the drop-off, I realized with a sinking heart that I wouldn't be able to get to the assembly.

"Listen up, boys," he said after calling us all to the central cargo hold, "here's out it's gonna play out. Mo, you and I are gonna make the drop-off. Ty, you follow us in case there's trouble."

"This is Granger we're talkin' about, Cap'n," Moin said dryly. "There's bound to be trouble on his end."

"Right. That's why we're bringing on an extra man," said Raler.

There was an awkward silence. Finally, Moin said hesitantly, "Uh, you don't mean Padme, do ya?"

I blinked, halted my sewing of Raler's shirt. "What?" I said blankly.

Raler let out a burst of laughter. "No, no, you idiot!" he chuckled. "Don't worry, little lady, of course I'm not gonna put you in harm's way. I'm talkin' about an old friend of ours, Rendar. He'll be in town, and he's decided to help us out on this one."

"Oh, good," said Moin, relieved. "For a minute there I thought you were asking Padme to help."

I couldn't help but frown. "I'm blind, gentlemen," I said wryly, "not helpless."

_If you only knew what I've gone through… _

"I didn't mean it like that, beautiful," Moin said defensively. "I just… you know… I mean…"

Ty and Raler started laughing, and I couldn't help but smile. "Don't worry about it, Moin. But really, if there's anything I can do, Captain," I added, turning my face to where the Captain stood, "please, let me know."

"Well, I don't know," Raler said thoughtfully. I heard a scratching noise and knew he was rubbing his beard. "I don't want to put you though anythin' else…"

"I can handle myself, Captain, I assure you," I replied.

A pause. "Can you speak Rodian?" he finally asked.

I nodded. "Yes, some."

"See," continued Raler, "Granger's a Rodian, but I don't speak it all that well. And if he talks to his goonies in his own language, which he always does, we don't know what he's sayin'. How much do you know?"

"Enough," I said. "I was a Queen, an ambassador, and a Senator. If I didn't know the basics of most languages, then I wouldn't be very good at my job." I leaned forward and placed the repaired shirt on the table in front of me and brushed a stray hair out of my face.

Ty instantly objected to this idea. "No, Captain," he protested. "You know Granger – there's bound to be a showdown and shooting. Padme's already been through enough, not to mention that incident on Corellia."

I frowned and said, "Ty, I'm a grown woman, older than you, as you know. Actually, I'm older than all of you, as odd as that is, and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. My blindness does not make me an invalid."

"Padme," Ty started.

"No, Ty," I interrupted firmly. "I know you just want to protect me, but I'm not going to stay shut up in this ship for the rest of my life. I still need to find my children, and no matter what you say, I will do what I have to. Please try to understand."

"I'm not going to be responsible for you being in danger again," Ty said. "Captain, c'mon. We can't take her."

"That's my decision," I said quietly.

Another awkward silence followed.

"You know she's right, Ty," Moin put in.

"Well, I don't know," Raler said, "Seein' as how I'm the Captain, I could order you to stay."

"Technically, I'm not part of the crew. I'm just a passenger. Please, Captain. Let me do this. I'm eventually going to have to go my own way in any case," I told him, "to find my children. I'm a perfectly capable grown woman. You know I'm right on this."

"Doesn't mean I like it," Ty grumbled.

I smiled and reached for his hand. When he put it in mine, I squeezed it. "You'll be right by my side the whole time, I know," I said. "I'll be fine."

_And right next to the assembly where my children will be. Force, I need to get there. _

Ty sighed and squeezed my hand in what I took to be a reluctant consent. "Fine, you win."

"Good!" boomed Raler, and he reached down and squeezed my shoulder warmly. "We'll be on planet in roughly four hours. We have to get ready before then. Guys, c'mon. Let's get the packages ready."

As they left the room to ready the cargo, I felt a flutter in my chest. But I could do this. I had to. I'd do anything that brought me one step closer to finding my children. I'd gotten this far. I wasn't going to give up now.

* * *

Four hours later, I sat next to Ty in the speeder, feeling the wind rushing past my face as we sped towards the drop-off point on Yag'Dul. Ty had given me a blaster just in case, and I also carried a small knife in my boot. I wore a thick, zip-up jacket, a slim-fitting shirt underneath, a pair of leggings, and tall boots over those. At my belt was the blaster. I'd kept my hair up in a loose bun, but I could feel the wispy tendrils on my face and neck, loosened by the wind.

But my heart was pounding too heavily for me to notice the chilly weather, my thoughts too focused elsewhere. I wasn't even nervous about the drop-off, though I probably should have been.

_How can I get to the assembly? _I wondered, twisting my hands together. _I can't just waltz in there without an invitation… _

When the speeder slowed to a halt, I turned my head and heard a distant murmur of voices.

"The assembly," Ty murmured in my ear. "It's already started."

I felt a shadow pass over my face, but I quickly pulled my face into the senatorial mask that Anakin had hated so much and took Ty's hand as he helped me out of the speeder.

"Just stick by me," he said, taking my arm. "We have to walk a little bit."

I nodded wordlessly and followed him.

"Is Dash in place?" Ty muttered to Raler.

"Yep. He'll take a sniper position and hold until something goes wrong."

I raised an eyebrow. "You sound as if you expect something to go wrong, Captain," I observed.

"Little lady, trust me. I've been dealin' with this guy one too many times. He ain't a stand-up guy, if ya know what I mean."

Thinking back to the Viceroy Gunray and his slimy colleagues, I nodded and sighed, "Yes, I'm afraid I do."

The rest of the walk was spent in silence until heard another set of footsteps in front of us, and a rough voice said, "You're late."

"Actually, we're right on time," Raler said coolly.

"It'll cost you extra."

"What will? Bein' on time?" Raler sounded more irritated. "Just shut it and take us to your boss before I crack your head open, Kess."

The man – or alien, I wasn't sure which – Kess just growled under his breath and muttered, "Follow."

We walked slowly a little longer, but when we halted, I heard a whiney, slimy voice a few yards in front of us.

"So, Raler," said the voice, which I presumed was Granger, "you have brought the cargo?"

"Yep. Here, packaged, and ready to go."

"Hmm…" I felt that the Rodian was pausing for a reason. Then, I sensed two large eyes on me. "And it looks like you have brought me another piece of cargo as well."

_Oh, no, you didn't. _

I felt Ty tense; and Raler snapped, "She ain't cargo, you green bean, she's part of my crew, and you'll treat her with respect that a lady deserves."

"So sorry," purred the Rodian. I heard him draw closer and smelled an unpleasant odor of grease, smoke, and musky filth. "I would never wish to offend a _lady._" He was close now, maybe only a few feet in front of me.

"Don't even think it," barked Ty. I felt him go for his blaster.

"I think you should let the lady speak for herself, Tyros," Granger said silkily. "Unless she does not speak. She obviously cannot see. What a shame."

"Actually," I spoke up smoothly, "it's a blessing that I'm blind. That means I won't have to see your miserable face."

Ty and Moin stifled laughter.

"Hmm," Granger said, not sounding much offended by my insult. "What an interesting lady. I look forward to entertaining you in our guest chambers."

"Actually, we're on a tight schedule," Raler broke in. "So thanks, but no thanks."

"You are refusing my hospitality, Captain?" Granger said edgily. Tyros put his hand on his blaster.

"No, we just gotta go. Sorry. Got another pick-up that can't wait. Really appreciate the offer, though. C'mon, guys, let's go."

"I'm afraid not," Granger said, and suddenly said to his men in Rodian, "Surround them and cut them off in the back!"

"He's going to cut us off and surround us!" I shouted.

"What?" demanded Granger, shocked.

"Go!" Raler roared, and Ty whipped out his blaster and started shooting. He shoved me ahead of him, and I raced forward, not knowing where I was going; but another man, Moin took my arm and pulled me towards the exit, shouting, "Let's go!"

I heard a pained cry, but it sounded like the Rodian. I didn't stop running, but I pulled out my blaster just in case. Moin tugged me along down the street; and it seemed like we were getting away.

"What's going on?" I shouted over the noise.

"They brought in backup!" Moin yelled. "C'mon, to the speeder!"

I simply followed him; but when he abruptly yanked me back, I stumbled, nearly loosing my footing, and demanded, "What are you - "

An explosion rocked my feet, sending me tumbling to the ground. I felt the white-hot fire heat my face, and several shards of metal scraped my cheeks and forehead. "What is going on?" I screamed.

Moin groaned and pulled himself up to his feet.

"Moin? Moin, are you all right?" I demanded.

"Yeah," he moaned. "Fine. But the damn Rodian just blew our speeder. We gotta find cover."

"Padme!" I heard Ty roar. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine! But Moin's hurt!" I said as strong arms pulled me to my feet.

"Damn it!" Ty snarled. He took my arm and yanked me. "C'mon, guys, this way!" We rushed down a street, ducking when we heard the sound of blaster fire, and suddenly I stumbled over a step. "C'mon, we got stairs!" Ty yelled.

I hurried up the stairs, tripping several times, but when I heard the murmur of people growing louder, I felt my gut clench.

_Oh Force… we're going into the assembly. _

"Wait!" said a deep voice in front of us. "You can't enter without an invitation!"

"Watch me!" Ty snarled, and shoved the guard out of the way.

"Ty! What are you doing?" I demanded as we raced through crowds of people.

"Saving your life! C'mon, Granger can't try anything in here!"

"But - " A scream of blaster fire near us caused the crowd to cry out, and when Ty swore and dragged me faster, I knew Granger was coming after us.

"Just keep going!" Raler shouted somewhere from behind me. "We'll cover you!"

I didn't know how long we ran. I didn't know where we were. But when the murmur of voices grew louder, I could tell we were in a large ballroom or hall. Ty abruptly shouted, "Get down!" and pushed me to the ground, covering me with his body. Blaster fire screamed past us, and Ty jumped to his feet and returned fire. I heard his footsteps run away from me, leaving me alone on the floor. After a short while, I couldn't hear them anymore, blocked out by the shocked gasps and murmurs of the crowd.

Curled up on the floor on my hands and knees, staring sightlessly at the floor only inches away, I paused, feeling my body shaking ever so slightly. "Ty?" I managed to get out.

No response. I lifted my head up a bit tentatively… but suddenly froze.

An ominous, raspy breathing filled my ears.

* * *

**_TBC..._**

* * *

_Yes, I know it's a cliffee. That's why I'm going to try to update sooner. _:)

- Serena


	10. Murderer

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena**

**A/N**: _Shorter chapter, but I'm driving myself crazy trying to update other stories. Sorry. :) _

* * *

I couldn't help it – I was shaking. I rested on my hands and knees, staring sightlessly at the floor. I felt, heard, sensed so many different things all at once – it was so hard to concentrate.

"Ty?" I whispered among the excited murmur of noise. "Ty?" I called louder, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

No reply.

"Ty!" I cried out, lifting my head just a little bit.

The floor beneath me vibrated suddenly. Footsteps. Strong, powerful, commanding footsteps. Headed right towards me. That mysterious rasping breathing grew closer until it was right above me. The footsteps stopped only feet away. I raised my head up, wishing not for the first time that I could see.

I felt an odd mix of dread, anticipation, and a strange, dark emptiness as I stared at the figure towering over me.

The murmur of voices had fallen to a deathly silence. The rasping, monotonous breathing above grew even louder, vibrating in my ears.

"Who's there?" I whispered.

The crinkle of leathery fabric. The breathing drawing closer. Then, two iron-like hands grasped my shoulders and drew me up. My legs were like jelly, but the mysterious stranger held me as if I were no heavier than a small child. I felt safe and frightened all at once.

"Who are you?" I breathed. Against my better judgment, my hands crept up and gently touched the face of the stranger.

The breathing abruptly became hoarse and uneven.

I touched cold metal and nearly drew back, startled. Smooth, rounded sockets – the eyes? Then, my hands trembling, over the cheeks, then down to the ribbed piece of metal or whatever it was for the mouth, then across to a smooth, rounded skull that flared out at the edges.

A mask, I realized with horror. It was a mask.

Wait.

The rough breathing. Tall. Frightening, almost demonic mask.

No. No, no, no, _no. _

I felt the blood drain from my face.

Darth Vader. Sith Lord. Right hand of the Emperor.

_Murderer. _

_He's a murderer. He killed Anakin. He's hunting my children. _

_No. NO. _

"No!" I cried, wrenching myself from his grasp. I stumbled back but managed to keep my footing. His hand touched my shoulder again, but I pulled back even further, shaking my head.

"Wait," he urged. It sounded more like a command. His voice was low, deep, resonating, and shook my core. It was so dark, so cold, so grim. And yet… a hint of warmth… a touch of familiarity in that black tone…

No. He killed Anakin. He _killed _Anakin.

"You monster," I rasped. "You monster!" My chest was heaving. "You killed him! You _killed _him!" I was screaming now, letting all my turbulent emotions loose. Nothing else mattered now. "You _murderer!_ You… you…"

Everything came crashing down; and faint, I collapsed to the ground. But a pair of strong, thinner, warm arms grabbed me, gently enfolding me in their embrace.

"Anakin," I mumbled blearily.

The man holding me suddenly gasped almost inaudibly. His grip trembled slightly. I felt uncertainty, incredulity, and utter, complete _joy. _"Mother?" a warm voice whispered.

I froze. Let out a choked breath of disbelief. Reached up and touched a warm, gentle face. His ears. His cheeks. His hair. His _eyes. _Forgot everything else. Forgot Vader.

This couldn't be happening.

"Your eyes…" I choked back a sob. "What color are your eyes?"

"Blue," he murmured.

Tears escaped my eyes and trickled down my face. My palms lay against his cheeks. "Luke?" I whispered. My lips were trembling.

"Mother…"

"Luke!" I sobbed, and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder. "My son!"

"Mom…" His hands tightened on my back, and I felt hot tears seeping into my jacket.

_Luke… my baby boy. _

Everything was going to be all right, I knew then. It would be.

Unfortunately, I should've known that peace can only last for so long.

"Padme!"

Ty's voice ripped me from my snug egg of warm elation, and I turned in Luke's tight hug towards Ty's voice. "Ty?" I said uncertainly.

"Padme, are you all right?" Fast footsteps ran up to me. Ty's hand touched my back protectively. A little too protectively. "Padme, I – ughhh!" His hand tore away from my back as I heard a sick choking sound.

"Ty? Ty! What's going on?" I demanded. "Luke! What's happening?"

"No!" I heard Luke cry. "No, stop it! Fa—Vader, stop! You're killing him!"

_Killing Ty? Why is Vader killing Ty? _

The quiet that had been only minutes before had now escalated to loud murmurs.

"No!" I screamed. "Stop it! You're hurting him!" And then, for no reason at all, another set of words burst out of me. "You're hurting _me!_"

Ty let out a rasping cough, and I heard his body drop to the ground.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

_Yep, that was pretty short. I'm sorry - I'll try to make the next update longer. _:)

- Serena


	11. Her

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena**

**A/N**: _Finally got a chance to update this. Was inspired by watching the new Clone Wars season encore. :D  
_

* * *

"Ty!" I gasped. "Ty, are you all right?" I reached out unseeingly for him, but I kept my other hand tightly wrapped around Luke's. I couldn't let him go. "Ty!"

"He's unconscious," said Luke, sounding frustrated.

"What?" I turned towards Vader's breathing. "Why did you do that?" I demanded. "Why did you try to _kill _him?"

I got no reply. But I felt something… something strong. Dark. I shivered instinctively and held Luke's arm more tightly. A presence touched my mind. Probed gently. For what, I didn't know. But I didn't like it. I tried to set up mental blocks, and the presence halted, then drew away. But something about it just felt so… so familiar.

But suddenly, the presence wrapped itself around my mind, delving in deep to my inner thoughts. I gasped, unable to stop the new flood of emotions crashing into me. It was so warm… so hot…

_Anakin… Anakin, help me! _

I couldn't take it any longer. "Luke," I mumbled. My eyes slid shut.

The last thing I heard was Luke's cry of "Mother!" before everything went black.

* * *

_"I'm supposed to be on a meditative retreat. We should go away together. I know a place, far away from here, where no one will recognize us. Yeah, it'll be like we're actually husband and wife… instead of Senator and Jedi."_

_"I… I can't, Ani." _

_"What do you mean you can't?" _

_"I have to bring this bill before the senate. It's important."_

_"Uh-huh. More important than the way you feel about me?"_

_"Not more important. But important!" _

_"Isn't our love more important to you? No-no but! To me, there's nothing more important than the way I feel about you. Nothing." _

Vader's eyes squeezed shut painfully as he remembered that conversation that was so long ago. It seemed like a lifetime ago. And maybe it was.

He'd gone to that ridiculous farce of an assembly not as an opportunity for neutral ground, but to see his son again. His foolish son, who was blind to the real truth about the Force, who'd been indoctrinated by Obi-Wan Kenobi into believing that the Jedi were the incredibly peace keepers of the galaxy, and that _he _had killed Anakin Skywalker. That _he _was not Luke's real father.

He had gone to try to convince his son once again to join him on the right side. Why couldn't Luke see the truth? The Jedi were arrogant, self-righteous, and above all, heartless. No attachment. No joy, hate, anger, frustration, no _love. _No _emotion. _They were so cold, so set apart from everyone else. They might as well have been robots. But even droids had more feeling than most Jedi.

But then his plans had been swept under the rug, completely forgotten when _she _showed up in a blaze of gunfire. She looked the same as so many years ago. Delicate, gently curved body. Luscious, thick chestnut curls that fell in her face.

But her eyes. Those beautiful, soulful brown eyes that could be so intense, so passionate, and yet at the same time so gentle and loving… they were glassy. Sightless.

Those eyes ripped his heart open once again. Reminded him of feelings and emotions long forgotten, long buried in the past.

His senses hadn't been wrong. She was alive. She was _alive. _She was _here. _He didn't know how, or why, but he didn't care. It didn't matter how she got here, or what she was doing here.

She was _his. _And his alone.

The only difference was… she couldn't see.

It didn't matter, though. He could still see her. Now he just had to get her back before the Rebels and Mon Mothma dragged her away to their foolish crusade. He had to get both of them back. His son. His wife. They would be a family again.

Vader glanced down at his chest piece, filled with blinking lights. He touched it in disgust. Well, almost a family.

He had to speak with her. Because nothing was more important than the way he felt about her.

_Nothing. _

* * *

"… did you run off like that? We were in the middle of a diplomatic assembly! The last thing… need is to… caught up in a fight… _Vader!_"

"Leia… you don't understand…"

I heard voices, muddled at first, but slowly, the pieces came together, and the voices became clearer. I heard Luke and a young woman talking somewhere near me in hushed, urgent voices.

"Leia… it's my mother."

A pause.

"Your… mother?"

"Yes. I don't know how, but she's alive. She knew who I was."

"How do you know? It could be some scheme set up by Vader…"

"No. No, it's not. Leia, let me show you. She's sleeping, but you need to see her. I know it's my mother. I can feel it. Just like you knew where I was, and that I was in trouble on Bespin."

The young woman sighed. "Luke… I don't know…"

"Just come and see," Luke urged gently. "Please."

"Well, all right."

A curtain slid back. And I heard a truly astonished gasp.

"Leia?" Luke said, puzzled.

A warm, small hand gently touched mine.

"Mmm…." I groaned softly and moved my head to the side. I opened my eyes even though I couldn't see. "Luke?"

I heard a choked sob. Frowning slightly, I reached over and put my other hand on the stranger's hand touching mine. "Luke, are you there?"

"I'm here, Mom," said Luke softly. His hand touched my arm. "I'm here. This is Leia. My friend."

I started to tremble.

_Oh Force. Oh Force. _

"Leia…" I whispered, squeezing the small hand that was shaking so much. "Leia."

The young woman started to cry. I enveloped her small hand in both of mine, feeling tears run down my own face.

"Leia? Mom? What's…" Luke trailed off, and I knew that he was sensing something more.

"Luke," I said shakily, "This is Leia. Your sister."

"Mom," Leia sobbed, reaching forward and pulling me into a hug, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her tightly as tears streamed down my face. I couldn't believe it. Both my children… my children. They were here. Together. Friends… and all the while, they had no idea that they were twins.

"I love you," I whispered to both of them. "I love you so much."

I thanked the Force that we had been reunited after so much pain, so much suffering. I had my children back at last. Everything would be all right.

Unfortunately, I should have known better than that.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

_Thoughts and comments are appreciated! Really looking forward to seeing some Ani/Padme in the new CL season. _

- **Serena**


	12. Memory

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena**

**A/N:** I know it's been a while... again... but I'm trying to finish up my Star Trek story. Also, I just finished my novel, and I have a bit of a break, so I hope to be updating more regularly. But then again, I do have a lot of other stories to update... ARGH! :p

* * *

_Anakin… oh, Anakin, if you could only see them. If you could only know what your children are like. _

_You should be alive. You should be able to see them with your own eyes. See them for me when I can't. _

_Why aren't you here, Anakin? Why did you have to die? I promised myself I'd be strong. Strong for you, but most importantly, strong for your children. Your beautiful, loving, strong, gorgeous children. _

_I can't see them, but I can imagine them. I already know what Luke looks like. He's got your sandy blonde hair. Your clear blue eyes. Your passionate heart that's so full of life for everything. That heart that only cares about everyone, wants the best for everyone, and will willingly sacrifice his own safety for those he cares about. You did that. _

_Leia is definitely both of us together. My passion for politics, your passion for everything else. I've only spent several hours with her, but I can already see both of us in her. She's beautiful, I know. _

_It's been over twenty years and many long months, but Anakin, I've found them. I've finally found them. Both of them. And they're friends! How incredible is that? _

_I wish you were here, Anakin. I need you. I miss you. _

_I love you. _

_

* * *

_

For the first time since I had awoken from the carbonite, my dreams were peaceful. My heart, torn though it was from the loss of Anakin, was mending quickly from the reunion with my beloved children. It had taken me so long, but I had finally rediscovered them. I wonder if anyone knows how difficult, how excruciatingly painful it is to be torn away from your own children. Although I'd only known them for several hours altogether now, there is nothing stronger than the bond between mother and child.

Nothing.

I spent the rest of the day talking with my children about their lives. I learned about their part in the Rebellion, their lives, and their relationships, and in return, I told them everything about my life, everything they were missing.

But strangely enough, whenever the subject of Anakin came up, both Leia and Luke were oddly hesitant to speak of him.

"What was he like?" Luke asked quietly as we ate dinner together. I hadn't realized I was so hungry until the droid came in with food.

I smiled wistfully. "He was so much like you, Luke."

Leia made an odd noise in her throat. Luke cleared his throat – almost as a warning.

Strange. Was there something they weren't telling me?

"Keeping going, Mom," Luke urged gently, touching my hand.

"Well," I continued with a small smile, "He was also very much like you, Leia. From what you've told me, you've inherited his… passionate temperament."

"Great," Leia muttered.

I laughed. "It's all right. I'm glad you're like him. You have his stubbornness and his strength. Both of you." I swallowed, my throat thick. "I'm so proud of both of you," I rasped. "And I know he would be, too."

Both were silent.

I frowned. "Is everything all right?" But when I heard Leia choke out a sob, I knew everything _wasn't _all right. "Leia? What's the matter?" Oh, how I wished I could _see! _I was so good at reading people's expressions. "Leia, sweetie, what's wrong?" I reached for her, and she grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"I… I c-can't," she sobbed. "I just… can't do this!"

"Do what? Leia, what is it?" Now I was getting worried. "Luke?" I turned to my son. "What is going on?"

"It's…" Luke trailed off. "I'm not sure how I…" His voice hitched.

"Not sure how you what?" Oh, Force, what was wrong? Why weren't they telling me?

Leia cried quietly and continued to hold onto me for the next minute, while Luke grew quiet. I wasn't sure how to get either of them to open up, but finally, Luke spoke in a grave voice.

"Mom… what happened to… our father?"

I frowned in confusion. "I…" Now I hesitated. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last few minutes of life before my carbonite imprisonment.

_"Come away with me. Leave everything behind while we still can!"_

_"Don't you see? We don't have to hide anymore." _

I saw fire. Darkness. And a cold, unfamiliar tint to his eyes. Something that made me shudder. It wasn't him. This wasn't Anakin.

I didn't want to know this person standing in front of me. He scared me. He was threatening, dangerous, and unmerciful.

_"Don't you turn away from me!" _he ordered.

_"I don't know you anymore!" _I sobbed, stepping back. I almost wished to be enveloped in the fiery lava below. At least it would give me warmth to combat the frigid temperament of Anakin. _ "Anakin, you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path I can't follow!"_

_"Because of Obi-Wan?" _he demanded icily.

_"Because of what you've done!_" I cried. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. My throat was so sore. _"What you plan to do! Stop! Stop now! Come back – I love you!" _

I had thought that my final declaration, that one phrase that always brought Anakin to my arms, would sway him. I had thought that it would be enough.

And for a split second, it was. For a split second, I saw that Anakin that I knew wasn't there anymore – that Anakin who loved me with every fiber of his soul. I saw that Anakin who had recklessly dared to love me. Who had married me against every rule that existed. Who I would give my life for.

But that Anakin… _my _Anakin… disappeared in a flash of his eyes. Then, his gaze flickered up to the ramp of my ship. That ugly, cold sneer grew even more hideous. His eyes narrowed and grew even more dark.

I let a sob break loose.

_Anakin, don't. _

"_Liar_," he snarled at the base of his throat. Every part of my body winced and shuddered at the tone of his voice – that disgusted, hideous, guttural growl. "_You're with him!"_

_What? Who? _

I glanced up at the ramp, and my heart sank. _Oh, no… no, no, no! Obi-Wan, why? _"_No,"_ I gasped out. "_No_!"

Lips parting in a deadly snarl, that _person who was not Anakin _hissed: "_You brought him here to kill me!_"

"_No!_" I cried, shaking my head.

But it was too late. His black, gloved hand came up. Curled around something invisible. It shook as if it wanting to wrap around that invisible thing and strangle the life out of it.

But it wasn't something invisible. It was _me. _

I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. My hands flew to my throat. I choked, gasped: "_I- can't…"_

That hand of death curled even more, trembling violently. My vision was growing dizzy, my balance shaky. My eyes fluttered shut. In the background, I heard a voice, but I couldn't understand what it was saying.

The last thing before I lost consciousness were that black hand stretching out to end my life… and a pair of fiery yellow eyes.

_So warm now… _ I thought before I drifted away.

I didn't realize that I was crying until Luke called out my name frantically.

"Mom? Mom, it's all right! It's okay!" He squeezed my arm lightly.

I sucked in a breath, blinked, and touched my cheeks. Wet with tears. "Oh, I'm sorry," I gasped out. "I… I didn't realize…" I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, you two. You don't need to see this."

"What did you remember?" Leia asked me in a small voice. "Was it… him?"

"No," I said quietly. "Not Anakin. It was someone else."

Silence reigned in the room for the following minute. Luke, once again, ended the quiet by saying: "You look tired, Mom. Leia and I will let you rest. We'll see you first thing in the morning, I promise."

I nodded and reached for them once again. Leia hugged me tightly, and I pressed a warm kiss to her forehead. "Love you, sweetie," I told her tenderly.

"Love you, too, Mom," she said with a sniffle. "Goodnight."

Luke hugged me next. "Night, Mom. Have a good sleep."

"Thanks, honey." I held his face in my hands, smiled at him. "You, too."

Once they had left, I closed my eyes and sighed as my head rested back on my pillow. My entire body was still trembling from the vivid memory of my last meeting with Anakin. It was as if I were still there.

I shuddered and pulled the covers tighter to myself. Hopefully, my dreams would be pleasant once again – pleasant enough to block out my memories.

Unfortunately, though, I was wrong.

* * *

**TBC...**

* * *

_I know, no Vader. But don't worry - he'll be in the next chapter, which will be probably one of the biggest chapters in the whole story. This is actually going to be shorter than I thought... well, actually, I'm not sure yet. We'll see how things go. :)_

_Take care, luvs!  
_

- **Serena**


	13. Him

**Blinded By Love**

**By Serena**

**A/N:** OK, I'm going to give you a heads-up - I'm not going to be able to update as often as I'd like for any of my stories because I'll be loaded to the top with schoolwork. I'm really sorry to have to tell you this - and believe me, I'll try to update any chance I get. Hope you understand.

* * *

_Naboo was so beautiful. So lush, green, and warm. I inhaled the sweet, fresh scent of foliage and flowers around me as I leaned against the stone terrace railing - the one that overlooked green-colored peaks and glittering gray-green water. The air was moist and pleasant, laced with mist right after a summer rain. I could feel the tiny water particles tickle my skin, causing delicious shivers to run up my spine. _

_Oh, I loved it here. Everything was so cool... so new and full of life. I could stay forever here. _

_"You always did love the water." _

_I turned instinctively to see Anakin himself standing a few yards away. He wore dark colored robes, and his hands were folded behind his back. His gaze swept over me, then returned to my face. Why were his eyes so searching? It was as if he hadn't seen me in years... _

_"Yes," I said softly, smiling at him. "I did. And still do." I inhaled again and sighed with pleasure. "There's something so peaceful about rain and water. When I was a girl, I would stare out my window on rainy days, wishing I could be one of the rain drops that danced onto the ground. I tried to run out, but my parents always stopped me. Couldn't have me getting sick." _

_"Your parents aren't here now," Anakin said, drawing closer. "And it looks like it might rain again." _

_I glanced up at the cloudy sky. "Yes, it might. I'd love that. I love watching it rain. It doesn't rain that much on Coruscant - one thing I missed about my old home."_

_"I missed you." _

_I smiled at the longing in his voice. "I missed you, too. I always miss you." _

_He came ever closer, hesitantly reached out with both hands. When my hands came up to rest on his shoulders, his slipped around my waist, drawing me even nearer to him. I wound my arms around his neck and gazed up at him. _

_"Well, I'm here now. We're both here - together." I pressed my hand against his cheek. "That's all that matters." _

_"Yes." His voice was tight, almost as if he didn't believe it himself. _

_I wasn't fooled. We'd been married too long, known each other too long for me not to notice that something was bothering him. I only had to look in his eyes to know. Right now, they were stormy, billowing with many emotions, some which I didn't quite catch. But why was he so troubled? I searched his face, memorizing each detail. "Anakin," I said, "you can't lie - at least, not to me. Your face tells me everything... especially your eyes." _

_His gaze softened - but only slightly. "You know me that well?"_

_"Of course I do. I see you and I know what you're feeling. Your eyes are conflicted, upset." _

_Those eyes penetrated me, piercing me. "Yes. You see right through me, Padme. You always did." _

_"I have the gift of good vision, Anakin..." I trailed off and suddenly frowned. "Vision..." I blinked as flashes of blackness covered my eyesight, and I gasped. Anakin's hands tightened on me. _

_"What's wrong?"_

_"I... I don't... how can I be seeing?" I whispered. "I haven't seen in so long... This - this is..."_

_"This is a dream, Padme. You're dreaming."_

_"Since when do dreams tell me that I'm dreaming?" I demanded, glancing up at him sharply. _

_His lips pressed together in a tight line, and his hands gripped my waist almost painfully. "Since now." _

_"No." I tried to pull away. "Something isn't right. If this is a dream, I want to wake up." I closed my eyes and tried to wake up, but it didn't work. _

_"No!" Anakin snarled, shaking me back into the dream-world. "You will not!"  
_

_I opened my eyes and saw the sky growing darker, the clouds crowding close together. The gentle breeze picked up to a stormy wind, and a distant rumble grew louder. Thunder roared and crashed in my ears, and the winds swept up wildly, causing my hair to billow into my face. Lightning flashed across the sky, ripping it in two. In that second, the lightning illuminated Anakin's face... and I felt my heart freeze in my chest. _

_His face, once kind and loving, was twisted into an ugly, terrifying snarl. And his beautiful stormy blue eyes - eyes that used to burn with passion and love for me - were now overwhelmed with the hideous fire of yellow and crimson. They looked almost bloodshot, fuming with rage, hatred, and darkness. I thought I might die from all the hate in those eyes.  
_

_This.... this was not Anakin Skywalker. _

_This man... did not even look human. _

_This man... was a monster.

* * *

_"Anakin!" I gasped, my eyes flying open. All I saw was darkness, a muddy darkness. I could see a little bit of light, but that was it. Panting for breath, I leaned over and put my head in my hands, shaking. My mind instantly ran over the last thing I saw. That dream I had... was more real and vivid than anything I'd ever experienced. While I desperately wanted to believe that the dream had just been a dream, I'd lived long enough and seen enough to know that what I'd just seen was no ordinary dream.

Still breathing heavily, I slowly leaned my head back on the pillow and stared sightlessly up at the ceiling. My hands curled into the cold, med-center standard, starchy blankets. Everything was happening so fast, I thought. First, that incident with Ty. Speaking of which - where was he? I hadn't seen or heard from him since I'd passed out in front of Luke. I hoped he was all right - and I wanted to see him and the others again, thank them for everything they'd done for me. I wanted to repay them somehow, try to make it up to them, but I had no idea where they were. Come to think of it, I honestly had no idea where I was, either. I was in a medical center, but where I didn't know. But Luke and Leia had entrusted me to the doctors here, so I would trust them.

As I started to think about my children, my thoughts ran back to their father... and therefore, the dream I'd just had about him. Something wasn't right. I'd felt it ever since the incident with Ty. I shuddered as I remembered him choking under Darth Vader's hold. But why had Vader done that in the first place? And why pick me up? I frowned and closed my eyes, letting out a long, frustrating sigh. The entire situation was so bewildering, so completely strange and off-kilter. So many things didn't make sense.

What did Vader have to do with anything? And why did I have that disturbing dream of Anakin - a dream so real that I thought it _was _real? Anakin used to dream of his mother, then me - and both of those dreams had come true - well, for the most part. Was the Force trying to tell me something? Something I wasn't understanding?

But when I heard harsh, rasping breathing somewhere in my room, something happened.

I saw Anakin's face... his dark, furious face - one that I didn't even recognize. I saw him holding out his hand to me, sucking the very air out of my lungs.

I heard Ty gasping for breath and imagined Vader's hand stretching out to him.

My eyes snapped open.

"It's been a long time, Anakin."

The raspy breath halted momentarily before resuming its pace, albeit more ragged. "How..." the deep, mechanized voice spoke.

"It wasn't hard." My throat welled up painfully, but I tried to swallow. It didn't work. "You all but gave yourself away in that... dream."

He didn't respond.

"Having fun messing with my mind?" I demanded bitterly. "Are you so twisted and evil that you have to turn even my _dreams_ upside down?"

"Padme, I did not..." He halted, making a frustrated sound. "I was only trying to communicate with you."

"Well, congratulations. You did just that."

"I didn't mean for it to come to that," he insisted. I heard his footsteps coming closer, and his breathing grew louder as he approached me.

I ground my teeth, not in the mood for his excuses. "Spare me," I bit back acidly. "You didn't mean for a lot of things to happen, and they did. Because of you."

"Hurting you was not my intent," he protested, but I heard the anger growing in his changed voice.

"And look how that turned out."

"Padme! What was I supposed to think?" he demanded. He was now right by my bedside. "You had brought along _Kenobi!_"

"I didn't. He stowed away," I said levelly. "Good thing he did, or I might not be alive right now, having this lovely reunion with you." I couldn't help the resentment and sarcasm from coming out of me. Bitterness helped to deal with crushing pain that threatened to suck the very life out of my heart and soul. I was dealing with my pain the only way I could right now.

Anakin... or Vader took my hand. I flinched and pulled away from the cold leather glove. I knew only wires and metal were beneath it.

"Padme," Vader said heavily, "All of this... everything I've done... it was all for you."

"That's bull," I snapped. "I absolutely _hate _when people do evil things in the name of someone else - especially someone they _claim _to care about. If you _really_ loved me, Anakin, we wouldn't be here right now, and your kriffing Empire wouldn't exist."

"I did love you," he growled. "I never stopped loving you. If you hadn't betrayed me, the situation wouldn't have escalated the way it did."

"Oh, right, so it's all _my _fault you _strangled _me half to _death _while I was pregnant, mind you, with our children."

He paused. "Our _children?"_

"Yes," I hissed. "Children. I was pregnant with twins."

"So... Luke has a twin?"

Luke? Oh, Force, he knew about Luke? Well, of course he did, I reasoned. Luke had kept Anakin's name. Of course Anakin would know Luke was his son. The question was... did Luke know that Vader was his father? Was that what Luke had been hiding from me yesterday? And did Leia know?

I pushed those questions to the back of my mind and put several things together: Judging from his behavior when mentioning Anakin, Luke did know that Vader was his father. Anakin knew that Luke was his son... but apparently, not about Leia. And if Luke knew about Vader, I could only assume that Leia knew as well.

Oh, this was a tangled, twisted web of lies, secrets long thought buried, and deception. I wasn't sure how to approach this - I'd have to think about it carefully, like I would before debating a bill before the senate.

But the senate had been ages ago...

Inhaling, I made a decision which I knew might have severe consequences one day: "Had," I rasped. "He had a twin."

"Had?" My heart almost cracked at the pain in his voice. "You mean..."

"She died," I said quietly. "Right before I was put into carbonite."

"Carbonite?" Vader demanded. "Why were you put into carbonite?"

"I was dying," I said. His breathing halted again for a second. "It was the only way they could save me. I was in carbon stasis for over twenty years. I was only awoken several months ago." My voice was growing more raspy, and my throat was clenching painfully. I didn't know how long I could hold the tears back... but I did not want Vader to see me cry. Whether it was because of embarrassment or a strange sense of pride, I wasn't sure.

"Padme." A slight shadow came over my face, and I felt his gloved fingers touch my hair. I turned my head away. "Padme, you must believe me. The only thing I ever wanted was you at my side. You, me... our children." His voice grew quieter. I heard the sound of leather crinkling and knew he was clenching his fists. "I never wanted this."

"Well, it's too late now," I said softly. "You're a Sith, our family is separated, and I'm blind."

"No!" he snarled. "We are together now. Padme, listen to me." He took my hand and gripped it in his massive one. "Luke is here. You have reunited. He knows I am his father. We will be a family again, just like we were meant to be."

I faced him now. "Really? You think your precious Emperor will let that happen? Oh, wait, that's right," I said with a humorless snort. "You're going to kill him and take his place, and Luke will be your new apprentice and the second Sith. Oddly enough, I don't particularly like that scenario."

Vader growled in frustration and clasped my hand tighter. "I will not let you go again, Padme," he snarled. "I thought you were dead for over twenty long, miserable years. I didn't even know I had a son until almost a year ago. And now you are alive. We'll find a way to bring your sight back, and you and Luke will join me."

I waited for a moment before murmuring: "No."

"Padme..." Vader started, his tone carrying a warning. I could feel him drawing closer to me.

"What are you doing?" a new voice demanded furiously. I knew without a doubt that it was Leia. Feet stormed into the room, and she cried: "Get your hands off her!"

Vader straightened and released me. "This is none of your concern, Your Highness. Leave before I ignore the terms of this planet's arrangement and arrest you," he thundered.

I slowly sat up in my bed and glared up at the spot I knew he was. "No," I repeated. When he turned to me, I said icily: "You've done enough damage for one day, Vader. You can go. And that's not a suggestion."

Vader let out a long growl, but after a tense minute, he hissed: "This is not over." And he strode out of the room.

Immediately, Leia rushed to my bedside and hugged me tightly. "Are you all right, Mom?" she whispered frantically. "What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?"

I placed my hand on her cheek and stroked her hair. I had thought earlier that I would've been crying by now... but strangely enough, no tears were in my eyes. I knew that they would undoubtedly come later, but for now, my eyes were dry.

"Leia," I said wearily, "Vader has been hurting me for years. And still... I will love your father until the day I die."

"How?" she asked in a small voice. "How can you love him after everything that he's done? How can you be so strong?"

"You can't help who you love, Leia," I told her with a sad smile. "But the man I loved was lost the day Darth Vader came into being." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You just have to keep going. That's all anyone can do."

Leia hugged me again. "I won't let him hurt you anymore, Mom," she promised fiercely. "He won't get near you."

I sighed. "Leia... the truth is... he will never stop hurting me until Darth Vader is gone."

**

* * *

TBC...**

* * *

_Yes, so that was the major reunion. We've still got a ton of problems ahead.  
_

_Take care, luvs!  
_

- **Serena**


	14. Talks

**Blinded By Love**

By** Serena**

**A/N:**_ Wow, it's been a while. So so sorry! _

_**Disclaimer**: Don't own! So sad, too bad.  
_

* * *

I spent the entire night talking with my daughter. There was so much to discuss, so much to catch up on. I could tell that although she was a strong person like her parents, beneath that firm outer layer lay a heartbroken young woman, desperate to regain the man she had lost... and desperate to bring back her small family together... her father excluded. She went into detail about her childhood, about my old friend Bail and his wife. She told me how she would play pranks on her three annoying and overbearing aunts... and how she always longed for a mother who would hold her in her arms. Apparently, Bail's wife had not been very good with children.

"I don't remember her ever kissing me goodnight," Leia was saying distantly. She was curled up beside me on the bed, sitting with her knees to her chest. "Maybe a small peck on the forehead... but very rarely. I don't know if she resented the fact that I was not her real child... or the fact that my father..." She trailed off. "That he seemed warmer towards me in the end than he did with her."

"On Alderaan, as you are aware, I'm sure," I replied, "Royal marriages were arranged. Bail loved his wife, and she him, in their own way, I'm sure. But they didn't have much of a choice. But they chose to make the best of their circumstances. I'm just sorry you were involved." I squeezed her hand warmly.

"I'm not complaining," she amended. "I just... I always knew she wasn't my mother."

"The bond between blood is stronger than any other tie in the universe," I told her quietly. "You might have known, deep down, that Luke was more than just a friend to you."

"Yes," she said. "I think I did. I don't know how... but somehow... I always knew." She hesitated before adding slowly, "I think... I think I might have felt something... towards..."

"Your father?" I finished gently. When she didn't reply, I sighed through my nose. "Leia, don't feel ashamed. Deep down, underneath everything that is darkness and evil... there is a man I loved. A man I still love. He was one of the best men I knew. More intense, more passionate, and more loving than any other man I'd met. He had the most caring heart of anyone else I knew. I think... in part, that was his downfall. He maybe cared too much."

Leia shifted on my bed. "Tell me about him," she said. "Tell me about our father."

I inhaled, exhaled deeply, and started from the beginning.

* * *

Luke came to see me mid-morning and found Leia dozing on my bed. "She's been through so much," he told me heavily. "She's stronger than anyone I've ever met, Mom. I don't know how she does it."

"She's a survivor," I said. "But eventually, you have to let your emotions out, or they will get the best of you at the worst of times." I couldn't help but think that Anakin had had that particular issue. I somehow felt that the Jedi Council and its strict code was partially to blame... After all, Jedi were not mindless robots with no emotion. They were people with feelings - and Anakin's had been more intense than anyone I'd ever met. He did nothing by halves, including his feelings for other people. However, this caused problems when Anakin lost focus... When he was unable to control his emotions.

I remembered the dark look on his face as he raised his gloved hand up to grasp my throat... I blinked back tears and licked my lips, trying to focus on my son's warm presence.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I think it came out when she was with our friend, Han Solo. She and he would argue so loudly the entire base would hear it. But I knew she liked him, even to begin with. Then, not too long ago, they really fell in love. It's tearing her apart that he's been taken by Fett."

"Fett? As in Boba Fett?"

"Yeah. You know him?"

"Indeed I do. That boy has had a troubled life. He's not actually the son of anyone. He's a clone of the late Jango Fett."

"A clone?" Luke echoed. "Strange... I didn't know that."

"He'll probably live a long time unless someone kills him. Obi-Wan told me his growth wouldn't be slowed down, as it was for all the other clones. He'll probably live another eighty or so years, probably even longer than that."

"Well, the only thing I'm concerned about is getting Han back," Luke said firmly. "But it's extremely difficult. Jabba's palace is practically impenetrable."

"I'm sure we can find a way," I mused. "I know a few tricks about sneaking into places."

"You? A senator?" He sounded impressed. "Mom, tell me more." I heard the grin in his voice and was again reminded of Anakin's good humor. My heart clenched, then relaxed as I returned his smile.

* * *

By that afternoon, I was restless, anxious to get out of bed. Luke and Leia had told me they would search out Raler and his men to discover Ty's well-being, and they would return once they found any news of him or the rest of the crew. But as for me, I was left with a medical droid at my side and legs aching to move. "B-4," I sighed, "I need to get up."

"Mistress is not well enough."

"I'm well enough, all right," I grumbled, and pulled the covers away. "I'm going for a walk. If you're assigned to me, it's your job to protect my health. So, I insist you lead me around here. Take me to a terrace... or a veranda. Something with sun. It's peeping through my small window, and I want to feel it on my skin." I climbed out of bed and stuck out a hand. The droid's cold fingers clasped my own, and it whirred to life, leading me out of the medical room and down the hall. Several people passed, and I heard murmurs but ignored them.

I had reached a point of my life where I stopped caring what anyone else thought. I over forty-five years old, even though I didn't look it. I'd seen and heard enough, and frankly, I didn't give a kriff anymore. I allowed the droid to show me out onto an empty stone terrace. I smiled, feeling the wind blowing across my cheeks and nose. When the droid led me to the railing, I placed my hands on the warm stone and tilted my head up to face the glowing sunlight shining down on me.

_Ah... now this is what I need. _

_"_You should not be out of bed," said a deep, inhuman voice from behind me. _  
_

"My sight may be crippled, but my legs are not," I said dryly, enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun on my face.

Vader stepped closer until he was only feet away, but I didn't move. "The children, I believe, will be searching for you soon."

"They can find me if they want. And they're not children anymore." My jaw tightened. "I'm not even sure how much of a childhood each of them really had."

"They are stronger than you think."

"They're still human. Which is more than I can say for you."

I knew that one would hurt. But it was true. Darth Vader was scarcely human anymore. More machine than man, I thought distantly.

"They have survived this long," Vader retorted angrily. "They have dealt with the knowledge that I am their father. You may not think of them as children, but you are certainly treating them as such."

"You are not their father," I snapped. "Anakin Skywalker created my children. _You're_ destroying them. I don't think you have the right to give _me_ parenting advice."

"I only wanted for us all to be together," Vader insisted, agitated. "For us to rule the galaxy as one -"

"One what? One big happy family?" I paused. "Sith don't have families. There are only two: master and apprentice. So, naturally, you would only need one apprentice. The children would have to fight each other, and the survivor would be your pupil. That is, of course, until you grow too old and weak, and then they'll kill you and take your place. And as for me? None of you have need of me. I'm a bleeding heart, a weak link. I would eventually be eliminated. Probably poisoned in my sleep. I don't think the children would kill me with a lightsaber. But then again," I added, "They might want to make it quick and easy."

"Enough!" he rasped.

"The truth hurts, Vader," I told him coolly. "And love blinds. Literally, in my case."

He paused, then said heavily, "You are not the same woman I knew."

"This coming from _you_?" I demanded incredulously. "I may have changed. But at least I still know who I am. I have not betrayed my beliefs, my friends. I have not changed sides. I have not tried to murder my own children."

"Believe me, I-"

"NO!" I snarled. "I can't _believe _you cut off your _own son's hand! _You _tortured your own daughter!" _My voice had risen to a furious scream, but I didn't care.

"The boy was strong, and he thrived in his pain. And the girl is also stronger than you give her credit for. I did not have a choice."

"No choice..." I murmured, shaking my head in disbelief. "You always have a choice, Anakin," I hissed. "You just made all the _wrong ones_ - starting with your decision to follow that bloodthirsty monster you call a _master."_

"You had choices, too, Padme. I was trying to save you. You have betrayed _me,"_ he insisted.

"You betrayed yourself first, Vader. The others followed," I said dispassionately. I found it easier to act this way. If I started to project my emotions, there would be no telling how he could use those to manipulate me. It was difficult enough sharing the same room with him, much less speaking of the past. I don't know if I could bear it if he saw my true feelings. One thing I was glad of: he could not see my eyes. Clouded over with blindness, my eyes would not betray me as his voice was doing so now. I had the advantage... for now.

"And yet," I added quietly, "there is a small part of Anakin still living inside you. You may deny it all you want, but Darth Vader would not have spared Luke's life. Darth Vader would not have postponed Leia's execution." I took a step closer to him, tilted my head up towards his mask. His breathing grew more raspy. "Darth Vader," I murmured, "would not still be in love with me."

His gloved hand touched my cheek, rested it there. "Padme," he murmured.

I allowed myself to sink into his touch... until I remembered what he had done. I pulled away, took his hand off my cheek. He gripped it, but I wrestled it out of his hand and curled it into my dress. "No. You are not allowed to touch me."

"Not allowed!" he growled incredulously. "I am your husband!"

"You are not my husband. Anakin Skywalker was my husband. And he's dead. He died the day you were born." I turned away. "I forgive Anakin," I added with a heavy sigh, wrapping my arms around myself. "I forgave him a long time ago. But I will never forgive you, Vader. You should know that now before you continue to visit me."

"Padme..."

"Until you stop following your precious lord and master," I snapped, "I refuse to acknowledge any connection between us. You are nothing more than a cold-blooded murder and the man who is trying to destroy my only children - my one connection to my husband."

His breathing was loud and hoarse in the sudden quietness of the room. I heard him squeeze his fists together. "I am not leaving without you, Padme," he said finally. "You are mine."

"I am not yours. I am leaving with my son and daughter. And that is the end of it."

"We shall see," he replied ominously. His footsteps echoed against the floor as he left the terrace.

I punched the stone, teeth pulling back in a silent snarl. I didn't know how much more I could take of this. A strong part of me wished I would never see him again... that he would just disappear, never to return in my life. After all, he had caused so much chaos, so much sadness, heartbreak, and death. Why would I ever want to even be in the same room as him? I had needed Anakin... I'd needed him so much. He had been the very breath to my lungs. But now... I didn't need him anymore.

At least, I thought I didn't. Despite everything he had done, despite my firm belief that this was true... It was not. And I would soon discover this.

* * *

_- **Serena**_


End file.
